MAY 5, 1920. We understand that Lord Fisher, who is reported to have taken a week off to say what he thought about the Budget, has asked for an extension of time. Germany has decided to abolish gradually all titles of nobility. They will disappear Von by Von. Six hundred Irish emigrants left for New York last Wednesday on board the Celtic. All, we understand, were advised before leaving that the price... more...

THE SUPERFECTION LAUNDRY. I let myself into my flat to find a young woman sitting on one of those comfortless chairs designed by upholsterers for persons of second quality who are bidden to wait in the hall. "You want to see me?" I inquired. "Yes; what is it?" "I have called, Madam, to ask if you are satisfied with your laundry." "Far from it," I said. "It is kind of... more...

The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manœuvres this year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manœuvres were, we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the surprise mobilisation five months' previous notice is given. "Every man," says the Bishop of London, "must be his own Columbus and find the continent of truth."... more...

LESSONS OF THE WAR. I. (Acting upon instructions received from the 3rd Self-help Division the 9th Self-help Brigade issues its orders for a Raid.) 9th Self-help Brigade Operation Order No. 49. August 1st, 1920. Ref. Maps. London 1/40000 shoot 27 S.W. and (Special) 1/500 (Broadmead). 1. The 9th Self-help Brigade will carry out a Raid upon Broadmead House, Broadmead Square, W., on the night of 12/13... more...

WAYS AND MEANS. I met her at the usual place, and she looked much the same as usual—which astonished me rather. "Now that we're engaged," I began. "Oh, but we aren't," said Phyllis. "Are you by any chance a false woman?" I asked. "You remember what you said last night?" "I do, and what I said I stick to. But that was pleasure, and this is business." I... more...

CHARIVARIA. The German claim that as the result of the Zeppelin raid "England's industry to a considerable extent is in ruins" is probably based on the fact that three breweries were bombed. To the Teuton mind such a catastrophe might well seem overwhelming. A possible explanation of the Government's action in closing the Museums is furnished by the Cologne Gazette, which observes... more...

May 6, 1914. According to an official of the Imperial Japanese household, the poems composed by the late Dowager-Empress of Japan numbered 30,000. But these were never published, and the Empress died universally respected. A foolish hoax is said to have been perpetrated on the authorities at Dublin Castle. An anonymous communication informed them that a Dreadnought had been purchased by the Ulster... more...

CHARIVARIA. "His seventy-one years sit lightly on Mr. Gibson Bowles," says the Special Correspondent of The Evening News. No doubt Mr. Bowles has some good reason for permitting this familiarity, for he is not a man to be lightly sat upon. "In particular," says a report on the resources of German East Africa, "the President of the Silk Association has just directed attention to the... more...

April 28, 1920. General Denikin is now in London. This is the first visit he has paid to this country since his last assassination by the Bolshevists. New proposals regarding telephone charges are expected as soon as the Select Committee has reported. If the system of charging by time in place of piece-work is adopted it will mean ruination to many business-men. The Swiss Government has issued orders... more...

March 8th, 1916. Germany is declared to have built a submarine that can go to the United States and back. Future insults therefore will be delivered by hand. Municipal fishshops are to be established in Germany. They will be closely associated, it is understood, with the Overseas News Agency, and will make a speciality of supplying a fish diet to sailors who are unfortunately prevented by circumstances... more...