February 23, 1916. The threatened shortage of paper has led a few unkind persons to enquire upon what our diplomatic victories are hereafter to be achieved. An interned German was recently given a week's freedom in which to get married, and the interesting question has now been raised as to whether his children, when they reach the age of twenty-one, will be liable to the Conscription Act or will... more...

March 15, 1916. The Zeppelin which was "winged" while flying over Kent last week has not yet been found, and is believed to be still in hiding in the densely wooded country between Maidstone and Ashford. Confirmation of this report is supplied by a local farmer, who states that on three successive nights the cat's supper has been stolen from his scullery steps. This strange circumstance,... more...

March 1, 1916. The Volunteers have at last been recognised. There has been nothing like it since the great recognition-scene in Electra. The case has been reported of a Stepney child which has developed a disease of the brain, as the result of an air raid. Similar cases are said to have been observed in the neighbourhood of Fleet Street. It now transpires that the music of St. Paul's Cathedral... more...

June 7, 1916. A correspondent writes to tell us of a painful experience which he has had in consequence of his efforts to practise war-time economy in the matter of dress. The other evening, after going to bed at dusk in order to save artificial light, he was rung up by the police at 1 A.M. and charged with showing a light. It appears that he had gone to bed with his blind up, after throwing his... more...

CHARIVARIA. Portugal is now officially at war with Germany, and the dogs of frightfulness are already toasting "der Tagus." At first the report that Enver Pasha had gone to pay a visit to the tomb of the Prophet at Medina caused a feeling of profound depression in Constantinople; but it is now recognised that there was no other course open to him, as Mahomet was not in a position to visit the... more...

January 19, 1916. In a description of Lord Kitchener's home at Broome Park we read that on the way there one passes a kind of crater known by the rustics as "Old England's Hole." And a little farther on you come to the man who got Old England out of it. A German professor advocates the appointment of State matrimonial agents. Elderly and experienced ladies and gentlemen should be... more...

January 12, 1916. There is much satisfaction in the German Army at the announcement that iron coins to the value of ten million marks are to be substituted for nickel and copper. It is now hoped that those Crosses may yet prove to be worth something. A resident of Honor Oak writes to the papers to say that such was the patriotic anxiety of people in his neighbourhood to pay their taxes at the earliest... more...

RESOLUTIONS. I will not breakfast in my bed With downy cushions at my head; That would be very wrong—and so Away the eggs and bacon go! I will not read in bed at night And burn the dear electric light; Nor buy another costly hat; Oh no! I'm much too good for that. But I will rise before the dawn And weed and cut and roll the lawn; My border I will plant with veg, Abundantly from hedge to hedge.... more...

CHARIVARIA. Many early nestings are recorded as the result of the mild weather, and at least one occasional visitor (Polonius bombifer) has laid eggs in various parts of the country. Says a learned correspondent of The Observer: "There may be fundamental differences between observed phenomena without affecting the validity of a strict analogy; and after all an analogy is based upon presented... more...

November 18, 1914. Contrary to the usual custom there were no official dinners on the eve of the opening of Parliament. The explanation of this is clear to the German Press. It was due to scarcity of food. Upon receipt of the Japanese ultimatum, the Kaiser, it may be remembered, cabled to the commander of his Chinese fortress:—"Bear in mind that it would shame me more to surrender Kiaochau to the... more...