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OUR INVINCIBLE NAVY . Prize-Money. The really intriguing thing about Naval prize-money is the fact that no one knows exactly where it comes from. You don't win it by any definite act of superlative daring—I mean to say, you don't have to creep out under cover of darkness and return in the morning with an enemy battleship in tow to qualify for a modicum of this mysterious treasure. You just... more...

CHARIVARIA. We are in a position to state that the efficiency of Germany's new submersible Zeppelins has been greatly exaggerated. Many schemes for coping with our £2,100,000,000 War indebtedness are before the authorities, and at least one dear old lady has written suggesting that they should hold a bazaar. It is stated that the monkey market at Constantinople, which for hundreds of years has... more...

March 18, 1914. In view of the grave importance of the present political situation, the price of Punch will remain as heretofore. "The risk of flying is very greatly exaggerated," says Mr. Winston Churchill. Then why funk a General Election? Some people have such a nasty way of putting things! Liberal gentleman to Unionist gentleman: "Well, have you taken the pledge?" Attempts are now... more...

February 23, 1916. The threatened shortage of paper has led a few unkind persons to enquire upon what our diplomatic victories are hereafter to be achieved. An interned German was recently given a week's freedom in which to get married, and the interesting question has now been raised as to whether his children, when they reach the age of twenty-one, will be liable to the Conscription Act or will... more...

February 18, 1914. "I come," said Mr. Lloyd George last week, "from a farming stock right down from the Flood. The first thing a farmer wants is to be secure." It was of course during the Flood that the insecurity of land tenure was most noticeable. Lord Carrick, who a few months ago was appearing in a sketch at the Coliseum, seconded the Address in the House of Lords. We are glad to... more...

May 10, 1916. Many graphic tales have been told of the immense loads of plunder carried off during the fighting in Dublin; but there has been looting on a large scale elsewhere, if one may believe the headline of a contemporary:—"Man arrested with Colt in his pocket at Bloomsbury." Says a writer in The Daily Chronicle: "In one neighbourhood within the Zeppelin zone there are hundreds of... more...

November 17th, 1920. It is rumoured that a gentleman who purchased a miniature two-seater car at the Motor Show last week arrived home one night to find the cat playing with it on the mat. It appears that nothing definite has yet been decided as to whether The Daily Mail will publish a Continental edition of the Sandringham Hat. The matter having passed out of the hands of D.O.R.A., the Westminster... more...

January 12, 1916. There is much satisfaction in the German Army at the announcement that iron coins to the value of ten million marks are to be substituted for nickel and copper. It is now hoped that those Crosses may yet prove to be worth something. A resident of Honor Oak writes to the papers to say that such was the patriotic anxiety of people in his neighbourhood to pay their taxes at the earliest... more...

MAY 5, 1920. We understand that Lord Fisher, who is reported to have taken a week off to say what he thought about the Budget, has asked for an extension of time. Germany has decided to abolish gradually all titles of nobility. They will disappear Von by Von. Six hundred Irish emigrants left for New York last Wednesday on board the Celtic. All, we understand, were advised before leaving that the price... more...

The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manœuvres this year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manœuvres were, we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the surprise mobilisation five months' previous notice is given. "Every man," says the Bishop of London, "must be his own Columbus and find the continent of truth."... more...