An Answer to a Scurrilous Pamplet [1693]

Excerpt

The Author of the Memoirs had so little to apprehend in his Reputation either at home or abroad from the feeble Efforts of Monsieur de Cross in his late trifling Invective, that had it not been for the repeated Instances of some Friends, who were unwilling to have such a wretched Scribler escape unpunished, he had never condescended to the severe penance of sitting an hour upon him. To their Importunities, and not to his own Inclinations is the Reader obliged for the following Remarks, which as they serve to justifie those particular passages in the Memoirs that are so outrageously exclaimed against by Mr. de Cros, so they discover, en passant, several Intrigues hitherto not so well known or understood.

Though we may safely allow it to be some sort of Mortificatioa for any one to see himself lie under the lash of a Man of Wit; yet certainly 'tis infinitely more supportable than to be assaulted by a Malice altogether made up of Phlegm and Dulness. Æneæ magni dextrâ cadis, was said by way of Consolation to young Lausus as he fell by the hands of that celebrated Heroe. When we lie under an unavoidable necessity of being encountered in Publick, 'tis some Comfort to be engaged with Bravery and Honour: In such a Case there is Reputation to be got if we come off with Victory; but to be forced to enter the Lists with a feeble, inglorious and despicable Adversary, is somewhat afflicting; there can be no Skill, no Dexterity shown in putting by his Thrusts, and there is no Reputation acquired by gaining the Conquest.

Certainly there never appeared in the World a Paper so little performing what it seems to promise in the Title page, so mean and undesigning, and in short so below the mighty Character of its Author who so often takes care to instruct us that a great Prince and a King did not disdain to employ him as a Counsellor of State, as this rambling, incoherent unthinking Letter. But perhaps it may be alledged by some of its Favourers, that the sincerity of what it pretends to relate, may atone for all its other palpable defects, since to use his own magnificent Expression our Deserter of a Monk is pleased to assure us, p. 9. that the only Heroe of his Piece shall be Truth: And indeed the Matter wou'd be somewhat mended if the Case were so; but for certain Considerations best known to himself our Letter-Writer has been so complaisant to his Heroe, as not to give him any trouble at all. However this pleasant passage puts me in mind of a certain person of the Long Robe who a little after the Restauration, when writing of Plays was more in fashion than it is at present, must needs threaten the Stage with a Play; and as a Hero is a very necessary Ingredient in all or at least most Compositions of that Nature, he designed to furnish himself with a Hero that should work Miracles, defeat Armies, charm the Ladies, and make as considerable a Figure as any Hero that had visited the World for many Ages. After he had amused himself some Months with this painful Undertaking, a Friend of his happens to interrogate him upon this Article, and asks him what Progress he had made in his Play, and how his Hero fared. To which the poor Gentleman replied, that a certain Misfortune had befallen him which had put a stop to the Affair. In short, after a tedious Enquiry, he informs him that he had unluckily killed his Hero in the first Act, and so cou'd not for the heart of him tell how to advance any farther. This was fairly and civilly done in our Gentleman. He had cut out so much Work for his Hero in the first Act, that he had left him nothing to do in any of the rest; and therefore was obliged to dispatch him in his own defence; but Monsieur de Cros never so much as introduces his Hero in one single Paragraph of his Letter: He threatens indeed to bring him in Play one time or another, but for all that keeps him still as invisible as a Fairy Treasure, and his Hero has no more to do throughout the whole piece, than one of the Mutæ Personæ in the ancient Drama.

Monsieur de Cros is pleased to address his Letter to a certain Noble Lord in Nubibus; for he no where takes occasion to name him, and this was certainly done with no other Prospect than only to recommend his Trifle the better to his Readers....