THE TORTOISE AND THE DUCKS "Take me with you, please," called a tortoise to a gray duck and a white duck that were flying over. The ducks heard the tortoise and flew down toward him. "Do you really wish to go with us?" asked the ducks as they came to the ground near the tortoise. "I surely do," replied the tortoise. "Will you please take me?" "Why, yes, I think we... more...

CHAPTER I 1890 William II, the "Social Monarch"—What lies beneath his declared pacifism—His journey to Russia—The German Press invites us to forget our defeat and become reconciled while Germany is adding to her army every day. April 12, 1890. [1] What an all-pervading nuisance is William! To think of the burden that this one man has imposed upon the intelligence of humanity and the... more...

VOLUME 1 GROTESQUE SKETCHES    

AREAS AND BOUNDARIES Fig. 1. Arms of Panjáb. Introductory.—Of the provinces of India the Panjáb must always have a peculiar interest for Englishmen. Invasions by land from the west have perforce been launched across its great plains. The English were the first invaders who, possessing sea power, were able to outflank the mountain ranges which guard the north and west of India. Hence the Panjáb was... more...

CHAPTER I PATRICK HENRY The Last French War had cost England so much that at its close she was heavily in debt. “As England must now send to America a standing army of at least ten thousand men to protect the colonies against the Indians and other enemies,” the King, George III, reasoned, “it is only fair that the colonists should pay a part of the cost of supporting it.” The English... more...

THE PROFESSOR AND THE CAPTAIN. The Young America, with every rag of canvas set, including studding-sails alow and aloft, rolled and pitched gracefully on the long swells of the German Ocean. The wind was very light from the north-west, and there was hardly enough of it to give the ship steerage-way. A mile off, on her starboard bow, was the Josephine, beclouded in the quantity of sail she carried, but... more...

CHAPTER I The road from Wellmouth Centre to East Wellmouth is not a good one; even in dry weather and daylight it is not that. For the first two miles it winds and twists its sandy way over bare hills, with cranberry swamps and marshy ponds in the hollows between. Then it enters upon a three-mile stretch bordered with scrubby pines and bayberry thickets, climbing at last a final hill to emerge upon the... more...

HEREINAFTERS. I. There are people in the world called tenants. I think nothing of them; Celia thinks nothing of them; jointly we do not think anything of them. However, as this is not so much a grammar as an explanation, I will get on with it. For the last two years we have been letting our flat. Naturally Celia has had to do most of the work; my military duties have prevented me from taking my share... more...

INTRODUCTION. The cauliflower is one of the minor vegetables which is now attracting more than ordinary attention in this country, and being grown with remarkable success and profit in a few localities which have been found to be particularly adapted to it. With most of our gardeners, however, it is still considered a very uncertain and unprofitable crop. This is due not only to the peculiar... more...

In the kingdom of Bonbobbin, which, by the Chinese annals, appears to have flourished twenty thousand years ago, there reigned a prince, endowed with every accomplishment which generally distinguishes the sons of kings. His beauty was brighter than the sun. The sun, to which he was nearly related, would sometimes stop his course, in order to look down and admire him. His mind was not less perfect than... more...