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The Slant Book

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Where Bobby lives there is a hill—A hill so steep and high,'Twould fill the bill for Jack and JillTheir famous act to tryOnce Bobby's Go-cart broke awayAnd down this hill it kited.The careless Nurse screamed in dismayBut Bobby was delightedHe clapped his hands, in manner rude,And laughed in high elation—While, close behind, the Nurse pursuedIn hopeless consternation


An Officer slid off the lidAs Bobby hove in sight,And bellowed out, "You're scorchin', kid—I'll run you in all right!"But down the Go-cart swiftly spedAnd smashed that Cop completely,And as he sailed o'er Bobby's headBob snipped a button neatly!


A funny Son of sunny GreeceWas standing near the curb,Beside his push-cart, wrapped in peace,That naught could well disturbBut all at once he got a shock—The Go-cart speeding down,Collided with his fancy stockAnd littered up the town!


The runaway then swerved a bitAnd snapped a Hydrant, short;Which accident proved quite a hitOf rather novel sortThe Water spouted in a jetAs much as ten feet high,And all were soaked and nearly chokedWho chanced to be nearby!


A farmer's wife, Miss' Angy Moore,Was trudging up the grade.A basketful of eggs she boreTo barter with in tradeThe Go-cart and the Lady met(Informally, no doubt)And made a sort of omeletteAnd spread it round about!


A Painter on a ladder perched,Was working at his calling—Against its foot the Go-cart lurchedAnd sent the fellow sprawlingHis pot of paint came tumbling downAnd wrong side up, it settledAbout a Chappie's flaxen crown—Oh, my! but he was nettled!


A German Band across the streetIts way was slowly wending,Which was a movement indiscreet,The way that things were tendingThe Go-cart struck the bass drum square,And passed completely through it.The Drummer madly tore his hairAnd said, "Vy did you do it?"


Some Workingmen were putting inA heavy plate-glass front.The Go-cart then came rushing inAnd did its little stuntIt smashed to bits a crystal paneTwo sweating men were bearing,And sped on down the slanting planeAnd left them mad and swearing!


An automobile big and brownWas chugging up the hill,And met the Go-cart plunging downWith speed that boded illAt once there rose a noise and dinOf people in dismay.A Sandwich-man then butted inAnd opened up a way!


A Lad was rushing with a HatSome Lady had been buying—The Go-cart caught—and laid him flat,And sent the hat-box flyingThe Hat fell out and settled downUpon our Bobby's head."Say, I'm the swellest kid in town!"The precious rascal said


A Newsboy next was somehow hit—The Go-cart, swift and dextrous,Contrived to muss him up a bitAnd fill the air with extrasOne copy Bobby neatly scooped,And saw this wild display,In type so bold it fairly whooped:"A GO-CART BREAKS AWAY!"


Then as the Go-cart speeded by,A Bulldog, quite pugnacious,Seized on the handle on the flyAnd clung with grip tenaciousThe Go-cart's speed was so increasedThe Dog streamed out behind it,And Bobby turned to pet the beastWhich didn't seem to mind it!


Perambulating down the streetWas Miss Lucile O'Grady—The Go-cart knocked her off her feetAnd took on board the Lady"Your fare!" said Bobby, with a shout,One chubby hand extending.But Miss O'Grady tumbled outWith shrieks the heavens rending


A Herder up the weary gradeA yearling Calf was leading....