Excerpt
April 5, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
A severe blizzard hit London last week, and Mr. Pemberton-Billing has since been heard to admit, however reluctantly, that there are other powers of the air.
After more than five weeks the bubble blown by Sir James Dewar at the Royal Institution on February 17th has burst. A still larger bubble, blown by some eminent German scientists as long ago as August, 1914, is said to be on the point of dissolution.
At one of the North London Tribunals a maker of meat pies applied for exemption on the ground that he had a conscientious objection to taking life. His application was refused, the tribunal apparently being of the opinion that a man who knew all about meat pies could decimate the German forces without striking a blow.
Colonel Roosevelt says he has found a bird that lives in a cave, eats nuts, barks like a dog and has whiskers; and the political wiseacres in Washington are asking who it can be.
An exciting hockey match was played on Saturday between a team of policemen and another composed of special constables. The policemen won—by a few feet.
For gallantry at the ovens a German master-baker has just been awarded the Iron Cross. This is probably intended as a sop to the Army bakers, who are understood to have regarded it as a slight upon their calling that hitherto this distinction has been largely reserved for people who have shown themselves to be efficient butchers.
At a meeting of barbers held in the City a few days ago it was unanimously decided to raise the price of a shave to 3d. The reason, it was explained, was the high cost of living, which tempted the customers to eat far more soap than formerly.
In the Lambeth Police Court a man was convicted of stealing three galvanized iron roofs. His explanation that he had had the good fortune to win them at an auction bridge party was rejected by the Court.
A Mr. R. H. Pearce, writing to The Times, says: "I once lived in a house where my neighbour (a lady) kept twelve cats." Mr. Pearce is probably unique in his experience. Our own neighbours only go so far as to arrange for the entertainment of their cats in our garden.
FIRST CASUALTY OF THE NON-COMBATANT CORPS.
Red Cross Man. "What is it?"
Stretcher-bearer. "Shock. He was digging and he cut a worm in half."
An Appropriate Locale.
"Bohemian Picture Theatre, Phibsboro' To-day for Three Days Only, Justus Miles Forman's Exciting Story, The Garden of Lies."
Irish Paper.
VARIETIES.
"A word that is always spelled swrong.—W-r-o-n-g."—Wellington Journal.
We don't believe this is true.
"WOMEN ARE ASKED TO WEAR NO MORE CLOTHES than are absolutely necessary."
Dundee Courier.
Several cases of shock are reported among ladies who got no further than the large type lines.
ART IN WAR-TIME.
[A fragmentary essay in up-to-date criticism of any modern Exhibition—the R. A. excluded.]
In the Central Hall the Reduplicated Præteritists, the Tangentialists and the Paraphrasts are all well represented. Mr. Orguly Bolp's large painting, entitled "Embrocation," is an interesting experiment in the handling of aplanatic surfaces, in which the toxic determinants are harmonized by a sort of plastic meiosis with syncopated rhythms....