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MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.Journalistic."The Prisoner, who was fashionably attired, and of genteel appearance;" i.e., An ill-got-up swell-mobsman. "A powerful-looking fellow;" i.e., An awful ruffian. "A rumour has reached us"—(in the well-nigh impenetrable recesses wherein, as journalists, we habitually conceal ourselves). "Nothing fresh has transpired;"...
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Various
CHARIVARIA. "When the King and Queen visit Nottinghamshire as the guests of the Duke and Duchess of Portland at Welbeck, three representative colliery owners and four working miners will," we read, "be presented to their Majesties at Forest Town." A most embarrassing gift, we should say, and one which cannot, without hurting susceptibilities, be passed on to the Zoological Society. Are...
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Various
THE MYSTERY OF MR. E. DROOD. AN ADAPTATION. BY ORPHEUS C. KERR. CHAPTER XXI. BENTHAM TO THE RESCUE. European travellers in this countryвÐâespecially if one economical condition of their coming hither has not been the composition of works of imagination on America, sufficiently contemptuous to pay all the expenses of the tripвÐâhave, occasionallyвÐâand particularly if...
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Owen Seaman
WAYS AND MEANS. I met her at the usual place, and she looked much the same as usual—which astonished me rather. "Now that we're engaged," I began. "Oh, but we aren't," said Phyllis. "Are you by any chance a false woman?" I asked. "You remember what you said last night?" "I do, and what I said I stick to. But that was pleasure, and this is business." I...
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Various
VOCES POPULI. AT THE REGENT STREET TUSSAUD'S. Before the effigy of Dr. KOCH, who is represented in the act of examining a test-tube with the expression of bland blamelessness peculiar to Wax Models. Well-informed Visitor. That's Dr. KOCH, making his great discovery! Unscientific V. What did he discover? Well-inf. V. Why, the Consumption Bacillus. He's got it in that bottle he's...
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Various
CHAPTER I. The iceberg was moving. There was no doubt of it. Moving with a terrible sinuous motion. Occasionally an incautious ironclad approached like a foolish hen, and pecked at the moving mass. Then there was a slight crash, followed by a mild convulsion of masts, and spars, and iron-plates, and 100-ton guns, then two or three gurgles and all was still. The iceberg passed on smiling in triumph, and...
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Various
SOLVING THE HOLIDAY FARE PROBLEM. "None but the rich can pay the fare" is as true at this moment as when the words were first penned. The reference, of course, is to the return fare, for the single fare of tomorrow is hardly more than we paid without complaint in years gone by for the journey there and back. How comparatively few people seem to be aware that the solution of the difficulty lies...
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Various
December 16, 1914 T. P.'s Weekly, in some sprightly lines, suggests that Punch should appear daily. This would certainly not be a whit more strange than to issue a T. P.'s Weekly Christmas Number as is done by our contemporary. Answer to a Correspondent.—Yes, khaki is the fashionable colour for plum-puddings for the Front. Post hoc propter hoc? Extract from the Eye-Witness's...
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Various
A MODEST METHOD OF FORMING A NEW BUDGET SO AS TO PROVIDE FOR THE DEFICIENCY OF THE REVENUE. Poor Mr. Dyer! And so this gentleman has been dismissed from the commission of the peace for humanely endeavouring to obtain the release of Medhurst from confinement. Two or three thousand pounds, he thought, given to some public charity, might persuade the Home Secretary to remit the remainder of his sentence,...
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Various
PERSONAL PARS FROM THE WESTERN FRONT. (With acknowledgments to some of our chatty contemporaries.) HAPPY C.-IN-C.—I saw the Commander-in-Chief to-day passing through the little village of X in an open car. He was very quietly dressed in khaki, with touches of scarlet on the hat and by the collar. I waved my hand to him and he returned the salute. It is small acts like this which endear him to all. I...
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