The Slant Book

Excerpt

Where Bobby lives there is a hill—
A hill so steep and high,
'Twould fill the bill for Jack and Jill
Their famous act to try

Once Bobby's Go-cart broke away
And down this hill it kited.
The careless Nurse screamed in dismay
But Bobby was delighted

He clapped his hands, in manner rude,
And laughed in high elation—
While, close behind, the Nurse pursued
In hopeless consternation

An Officer slid off the lid
As Bobby hove in sight,
And bellowed out, "You're scorchin', kid—
I'll run you in all right!"

But down the Go-cart swiftly sped
And smashed that Cop completely,
And as he sailed o'er Bobby's head
Bob snipped a button neatly!

A funny Son of sunny Greece
Was standing near the curb,
Beside his push-cart, wrapped in peace,
That naught could well disturb

But all at once he got a shock—
The Go-cart speeding down,
Collided with his fancy stock
And littered up the town!

The runaway then swerved a bit
And snapped a Hydrant, short;
Which accident proved quite a hit
Of rather novel sort

The Water spouted in a jet
As much as ten feet high,
And all were soaked and nearly choked
Who chanced to be nearby!

A farmer's wife, Miss' Angy Moore,
Was trudging up the grade.
A basketful of eggs she bore
To barter with in trade

The Go-cart and the Lady met
(Informally, no doubt)
And made a sort of omelette
And spread it round about!

A Painter on a ladder perched,
Was working at his calling—
Against its foot the Go-cart lurched
And sent the fellow sprawling

His pot of paint came tumbling down
And wrong side up, it settled
About a Chappie's flaxen crown—
Oh, my! but he was nettled!

A German Band across the street
Its way was slowly wending,
Which was a movement indiscreet,
The way that things were tending

The Go-cart struck the bass drum square,
And passed completely through it.
The Drummer madly tore his hair
And said, "Vy did you do it?"

Some Workingmen were putting in
A heavy plate-glass front.
The Go-cart then came rushing in
And did its little stunt

It smashed to bits a crystal pane
Two sweating men were bearing,
And sped on down the slanting plane
And left them mad and swearing!

An automobile big and brown
Was chugging up the hill,
And met the Go-cart plunging down
With speed that boded ill

At once there rose a noise and din
Of people in dismay.
A Sandwich-man then butted in
And opened up a way!

A Lad was rushing with a Hat
Some Lady had been buying—
The Go-cart caught—and laid him flat,
And sent the hat-box flying

The Hat fell out and settled down
Upon our Bobby's head.
"Say, I'm the swellest kid in town!"
The precious rascal said

A Newsboy next was somehow hit—
The Go-cart, swift and dextrous,
Contrived to muss him up a bit
And fill the air with extras

One copy Bobby neatly scooped,
And saw this wild display,
In type so bold it fairly whooped:
"A GO-CART BREAKS AWAY!"

Then as the Go-cart speeded by,
A Bulldog, quite pugnacious,
Seized on the handle on the fly
And clung with grip tenacious

The Go-cart's speed was so increased
The Dog streamed out behind it,
And Bobby turned to pet the beast
Which didn't seem to mind it!

Perambulating down the street
Was Miss Lucile O'Grady—
The Go-cart knocked her off her feet
And took on board the Lady

"Your fare!" said Bobby, with a shout,
One chubby hand extending.
But Miss O'Grady tumbled out
With shrieks the heavens rending

A Herder up the weary grade
A yearling Calf was leading....