Owen Seaman

September 9, 1914. The Deutsche Tageszeitung says:—"Our present war with England shall not be done by halves; it is no war to be stopped by 'notice,' but by a proper settlement. Otherwise the peace we all desire would be both rotten and dangerous." Your wish shall be respected, Deutsche Tageszeitung. The fines which Germany has been imposing so lavishly on towns and provinces will,... more...

CHARIVARIA. The Cambridge University Boat Club has decided to spend £8,000 in improving the Cam. There is talk of making it into a river. Says a writer in a contemporary, "Don't live in a houseboat during a flood." And yet Noah always declared that he owed his life to having done so. The gentlemen who formed M. Ribot's Cabinet are objecting to being described as "The One-Day... more...

June 17th, 1914. "The Pocket Asquith" is announced, and we are asked to say that the pocket in question is not Mr. Redmond's. The discovery of gold particles in a duck's gizzard has, we are told, caused a rush of mining prospectors to Liberty Township, Ohio. It is expected that the duck will shortly be floated as a limited liability company. The Valuation Department has discovered at... more...

May 13, 1914. Some idea of the amount of distress there is among Stock Exchange men, owing to the continued depression, may be gathered from the fact that a number of members, anxious to get to Brighton on their recent holiday on the 1st inst., walked all the way. While there would seem to be no "Picture of the Year," the canvas which appears to attract anyhow most feminine attention is the... more...

CHARIVARIA. Many early nestings are recorded as the result of the mild weather, and at least one occasional visitor (Polonius bombifer) has laid eggs in various parts of the country. Says a learned correspondent of The Observer: "There may be fundamental differences between observed phenomena without affecting the validity of a strict analogy; and after all an analogy is based upon presented... more...

December 15, 1920 CHARIVARIA. Apparently the official decision not to issue Christmas excursion tickets for journeys of less than one hundred miles will inflict some inconvenience on the public. Several correspondents point out that they will be obliged to travel further than they had intended. A newspaper correspondent describes Charlie Chaplin as being an amusing companion in private life. We always... more...

October 20, 1920. "Whenever I am in London," writes an American journalist, "I never miss the House of Commons." Nor do we, during the Recess. "If Lord Kenyon wishes, I am prepared to fight him with any weapon he chooses to name at any time," announced Sir Claude Champion de Crespigny recently to a representative of The Star. In sporting circles it is thought that, in spite of... more...

April 26, 1916. General Villa, in pursuit of whom a United States army has already penetrated four hundred miles into Mexico, is alleged to have died. It is not considered likely, however, that he will escape as easily as all that. "Germans net the Sound," says a recent issue of a contemporary. We don't know what profit they will get out of it, but we ourselves in these hard times are only... more...

LESSONS OF THE WAR. I. (Acting upon instructions received from the 3rd Self-help Division the 9th Self-help Brigade issues its orders for a Raid.) 9th Self-help Brigade Operation Order No. 49. August 1st, 1920. Ref. Maps. London 1/40000 shoot 27 S.W. and (Special) 1/500 (Broadmead). 1. The 9th Self-help Brigade will carry out a Raid upon Broadmead House, Broadmead Square, W., on the night of 12/13... more...

February 2, 1916. According to the Correspondent of The Daily Mail who described the festivities at Nish, the King of Bulgaria "has a curious duck-like waddle." This is believed to be the result of his effort to do the Goose-Step while avoiding the Turkey-Trot. Owing to the extraction of benzol and toluol from gas for the purpose of making high-explosives it is stated that consumers may have to... more...