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The Napoleon of Notting Hill



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TO HILAIRE BELLOC

For every tiny town or placeGod made the stars especially;Babies look up with owlish faceAnd see them tangled in a tree:You saw a moon from Sussex Downs,A Sussex moon, untravelled still,I saw a moon that was the town's,The largest lamp on Campden Hill.Yea; Heaven is everywhere at homeThe big blue cap that always fits,And so it is (be calm; they comeTo goal at last, my wandering wits),So is it with the heroic thing;This shall not end for the world's end,And though the sullen engines swing,Be you not much afraid, my friend.This did not end by Nelson's urnWhere an immortal England sits—Nor where your tall young men in turnDrank death like wine at Austerlitz.And when the pedants bade us markWhat cold mechanic happeningsMust come; our souls said in the dark,"Belike; but there are likelier things."Likelier across these flats afarThese sulky levels smooth and freeThe drums shall crash a waltz of warAnd Death shall dance with Liberty;Likelier the barricades shall blareSlaughter below and smoke above,And death and hate and hell declareThat men have found a thing to love.Far from your sunny uplands setI saw the dream; the streets I trodThe lit straight streets shot out and metThe starry streets that point to God.This legend of an epic hourA child I dreamed, and dream it still,Under the great grey water-towerThat strikes the stars on Campden Hill.

G. K. C.


CONTENTS Chapter Page I. Introductory Remarks on the Art of Prophecy II. The Man in Green III. The Hill of Humour I. The Charter of the Cities II. The Council of the Provosts III. Enter a Lunatic I. The Mental Condition of Adam Wayne II. The Remarkable Mr. Turnbull III. The Experiment of Mr. Buck I. The Battle of the Lamps II. The Correspondent of the "Court Journal" III. The Great Army of South Kensington I. The Empire of Notting Hill II. The Last Battle III. Two Voices
ILLUSTRATIONS In the Dark Entrance there appeared a Flaming Figure To face page City Men out on All Fours in a Field covered with Veal Cutlets "I'm the King of the Castle" "I bring Homage to my King" Map of the Seat of War King Auberon descended from the Omnibus with Dignity "A Fine Evening, Sir," said the Chemist "Wayne, it was all a Joke!"
Book I


THE NAPOLEON OF NOTTING HILL
Chapter I—Introductory Remarks on the Art of Prophecy

The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up. And one of the games to which it is most attached is called "Keep to-morrow dark," and which is also named (by the rustics in Shropshire, I have no doubt) "Cheat the Prophet." The players listen very carefully and respectfully to all that the clever men have to say about what is to happen in the next generation. The players then wait until all the clever men are dead, and bury them nicely....