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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, October 31, 1891

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(Afrikander Version of the great Breitmann Ballad, penned, "more in sorrow than in anger," by a "Deutscher" resident in the distant regions where the Correspondent of the "Daily Graphic" is, like der Herr Breitmann himself, "drafellin' apout like eferydings.")

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty—

Vhere is dat Barty now?

He fell'd in luf mit der African goldt;

Mit SOLLY he'd hat a row;

He dinks dat his secession

Would make der resht look plue,

But, before he drafel vast and var,

His Barty sphlit in two.

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty—

Dere vash B-LF-R, W-LFF, and G-RST,

Dey haf vorgot deir "Leater,"

Und dat ish not deir vorst.

B-LF-R vill "boss" der Commons,

Vhile GRANDOLPH—sore disgraced—

Ish "oop a tree," like der Bumble Bee,

Und W-LFF and G-RST are "placed."

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty—

Vhen he dat Barty led,

B-LF-R vash but a "Bummer,"

A loafing lollop-head.

Young Tories schvore by GRANDOLPH,

(Dey schvear at GRANDOLPH now,)

Now at de feet of der "lank æsthete"

Der Times itshelf doth bow!

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty,

Dere all vash "Souse und Brouse."

Now he hets not dat prave gompany

All in der Commons House,

To see him skywgle GL-DST-NE,

Und schlog him on der kop.

Young Tory bloods no longer shout

Till der SCHPEAKER bids dem shtop.

Und, like dat Rhine Mermaiden

"Vot hadn't got nodings on,"

Dey "don't dink mooch of beoplesh

Vat goes mit demselfs alone!"

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty—

Where ish dat Barty now?

Where ish dat oder ARTHUR's song

Vot darkened der Champerlain's prow?

Where ish de himmelstrahlende stern,

De shtar of der Tory fight?

All gon'd afay, as on Woodcock's wing,

Afay in de ewigkeit!

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty;

He hunt der lions now,

All in der lone Mashonaland,

But he does not "score"—somehow.

One Grand Old Lion he dared to peard,

Und he "potted" Earls and Dukes,

But eight or nine real lions at once,

He thinks are "trop de luxe"

Young GRANDOLPH hat a Barty,

But he scooted 'cross der sea,

Und he tidn't say to dem, "Come, my poys,

Und drafel along mit me!"

Footnote 1:

Saus und Braus—Ger., Riot and Bustle.

"CORRECT CARD, GENTS!"—"Wanted a Map of London" was the heading of a letter in the Times last Thursday. No, Sir! that's not what is wanted. There are hundreds of 'em, specially seductive pocket ones, with just the very streets that one wants to discover as short cuts to great centres carefully omitted. What is wanted is a correct map of London, divided into pocketable sections, portable, foldable, durable, on canvas,—but if imperfect, as so many of these small pocket catch-shilling ones are just now, although professedly brought up to date '91, they are worse than useless, and to purchase one is a waste of time, temper and money. We could mention an attractive-looking little map—which, but no— Publishers and public are hereby cautioned! N.B.—Test well your pocket map through a magnifying glass before buying. Experto crede!

OYSTERLESS. (By an Impecunious Gourmet.)

[Oysters are very dear, and are likely, as the season advances, to be still higher in price.]


Oh, Oyster mine!...