The Goop Directory of Juvenile Offenders Famous for their Misdeeds and Serving as a Salutary Example for all Virtuous Children

Excerpt

INTRODUCTION

In this DIRECTORY you'll see
Just what you never ought to be;
And so, it should Direct your way
To Good Behavior, every day.
The children of whose faults I tell
Are known by other names, as well,
So see thatyouaren't in this group
Of Naughty Ones.Don't be a Goop!

 

Talking while Eating

 

 

A Goop that always
makes me smile
Is this one:
Marmaduke Argyll.
His mouth is full
from cheek to cheek,
Why should he then
attempt to speak?
It makes me smile,
but still, the fact is,
It is a most
unpleasant practice.

 

NANCY BEAL

Throwing Away Things

 

 

On the sidewalk
Nancy Beal
Throws her old
banana peel;
Throws her apple
skin and cores,
Right in front
of people's doors!
Isn't that a
shocking trick?
Ask that Goop
to stop it, quick!

 

Selfish With Toys

 

 

A puppy, when he
gets a bone,
Will keep it for
himself alone.
So Bildad would not
share his toys
Or lend them to
the other boys.
He was a Goop;
and so are you
If you are ever
selfish, too!

 

PERCY BINGG

In the Way

 

 

Percy Bingg,
when he's at play,
Is almost always
in the way;
In the room,
or in the street,
Always under
people's feet!
Goops like that
annoy me so!
Youkeep out
the way, I know!

 

Talking in Church

 

 

Look at little
Betsy Birch,
Always whispering
in church!
Always playing
with the books,
Never caring
how she looks!
Never knowing
Goops like her
Ought to neither
talk nor stir!

 

LEVI BOING

Going Carelessly

 

 

Are you a Goop,
like Levi Boing?
He never looks
where he is going;
He's always bumping
into chairs,
And stumbling, when
he goes upstairs;
He tips things over,
bumps his nose.
Hecan'tbe careful,
I suppose!

 

Crying Continually

 

 

Mary Carey
Cory Call—
Hear her cry and
hear her bawl!
Hear her groan!
Hear her growl!
Hear her moan!—
Hear her howl!
She's the goopiest
Goop of all,
Mary Carey
Cory Call!

 

LITTLE CORALIE

Getting Feet Wet

 

 

Though Coralie
was small and sweet,
She always, always
had wet feet.
She liked to walk
through puddles; so,
She always had
a cold, you know.
But asyouaren't
a Goop, you try
To keep your tootsies
warm and dry.

 

Playing With Faucet

 

 

Have you heard how
Andrew Crossett
Meddled with the
water-faucet?
Letting water
flood the sink?
Andrew was
a Goop, I think;
Otherwise he
would have known
He should let
such things alone!

 

ANNABELLA DAY

Obeying Slowly

 

 

How slow is
Annabella Day!
She'ssoreluctant
to obey!
She acts so sluggish
and so sickly!
Oh, Anna, why not
do it quickly?
Oh, Anna, do be
prompt, and then,
No one will call
you "Goop" again!

 

Sulking

 

 

Miss Gwendolyn
De Vere De Witt
Is havingsuch
a sulky fit!
Because she couldn't
have her way
With other children
at their play.
A sulky Goop
I really call
As bad as those
who cry and bawl.

 

ADOLPHUS ELFINSTONE

Playing With Matches

 

 

Adolphus Elfinstone,
of Nachez,
Thought it was fun
to play with matches
Until the little Goop
had learned
It hurt a lot
when he got burned...!