Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 03, April 16, 1870

Excerpt

This nice little French drama has now been running at the FIFTH AVENUE THEATRE more than seven weeks. It is the story of a man who killed the seducer of his wife, and then forgave and received back again the guilty woman.

The same tragic farce was played in Washington some eleven years ago. The actor who played the part of the outraged husband made an effective hit at the time, but he has never repeated the performance. Since then he has become a double-star actor in a wider field, There are those who insist that he is an ill-starred actor in a general way; but as he has left the country, we can leave those who regard his absence as a good riddance of bad rubbish, and those who call it a Madriddance of good rubbish, to discuss his merits at their leisure.

After the execution of unnecessary quantities of noisy overture by the orchestra, the play begins. Soon after, the audience arrives. It is a rule with our play-goers never to see the first scene of any drama. This rule originates in a benevolent wish to permit the actors to slide gradually into a consciousness that somebody is looking at them; thus saving them from the possibility of stage-fright. Simple folks, who do not understand the meaning of the custom, erroneously regard it as an evidence of vulgarity and discourtesy.

The first act is not exciting. Mr. G.H. CLARKE, in irreproachable clothes, (the clothes of this actor's professional life become him, if any thing, better than his acting,) offers his hand to FROU-FROU, a small girl with a reckless display of back-hair, and is accepted, to the evident disgust of her sensible sister, LOUISE.

Sympathetic Young Lady who adores that dear Mr. Clarke.—"How sweetly pretty! Do the people on the stage talk just like the real French aristocracy?"

Travelled friend, knowing that persons in the neighborhood are listening for his reply—"Well, yes. To a certain extent, that is." (It suddenly occurring to him that nobody can know any thing about the Legitimists, he says confidently.) "They haven't the air, you know, of the genuine old Legitimist noblesse. As to BONAPARTE'S nobility, I don't know much about them."

He flatters himself that he has said a neat thing, but is posed by an unexpected question from the Sympathetic Young Lady, who asks—"Who are the great Legitimist families, nowadays?"

"Well, the—the—(can't think of any name but St. Germain, and so says boldly,) the St. Germains, and all the rest of 'em, you know." (He is sorely tempted to add the St. Clouds and the Luxembourgs, but prudently refrains.)

The second act shows the husband lavishing every sort of tenderness and jewelry upon the wife, who is developing a strong tendency to flirt. She insists that her sister LOUISE shall join the family and accept the position of Acting Assistant Wife and Mother, while she herself gives her whole mind to innocent flirtation.

Worldly-wise Matron of evident experience—"The girl's a fool. Catch me taking a pretty sister into my house!"

Brutal Husband of the Matron suggests—"But she might have done so much worse, my dear. Suppose she had given her husband a mother-in-law as a housekeeper?"

Matron, with suppressed fury—"Very well, my dear. If you can't refrain from insulting dear mother, I shall leave you to sit out the play alone."

(Sh—sh—sh!...