Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 02, April 9, 1870

Excerpt

THE UMBRELLA. A VIEW OF THE SHADY SIDE OF LIFE.

A ripe pippin falling upon the head of Sir ISAAC NEWTON (a clear case of hard cider on the brain) suggested the laws of gravitation. An elderly countryman passing my window this clear bright day, attended by his faithful umbrella, suggested the following reflections.

The term Umbrella comes from the Latin umbra, a shade—the whole signifying "keep shady."

This definition well describes the nature of the article; for, as it undoubtedly "keeps shady" in fine weather when the sun is fervent, so it is apt to "keep shady" in rainy weather, when most wanted.

It is as difficult to say when the umbrella came, or where it came from, as it is to tell where it goes to. Rumor hath it, however, that it came in (that is, out of the rain) with NOAH. The story (as given us by an antiquarian relative) says that when the Ark was built the camelopard was forgotten, and it was found necessary to cut a hole in the roof to accommodate the animal's neck. This done, SHEM sat upon the roof and held an umbrella. SHEM thus raised the umbrella. Then our further question follows, Where did he raise it? Evidently he raised the umbrella on the Ark.

These theories seem to us to be entitled to serious consideration; and certainly it is a reasonable belief that, as the present suffering from the high price of clothing is due to the sin of our first parents, so the umbrella is the curse entailed by royalty, coming in with the First Reign spoken of in history.

The umbrella appears again in ancient time in connection with DANIEL, who, it is said, carried one into the lions' den. The authority for this is a historical painting that has fallen into the hands of an itinerant showman. A curious fact is stated with reference to this picture, namely, that DANIEL so closely resembled the lions in personal appearance that it was necessary for the showman to state that "DANIEL might easily be distinguished from the lions on account of the blue cotton umbrella under his right arm."

For what purpose this umbrella may have been carried we can only surmise.

The most probable theory is, that it was to be used there to intimidate the lions, as it has since been used toward mad bulls and other ferocious beasts.

We have now taken hold pretty firmly of what may be called the handle of the umbrella. We have learned that, as ADAM raised CAIN, NOAH raised the umbrella, and DANIEL carried one.

We have learned further that the umbrella carried by DANIEL was a blue cotton umbrella—undoubtedly the most primitive type of the umbrella.

It is one of this class that your country friend brings down with him, that darkeneth the heavens as with a canopy and maketh you ashamed of your company. It is such an umbrella as this that is to be found or might have been found, in ancient days, in every old farm-house—one that covered the whole household when it went to church, occupying as much room when closed as would the tent of an Arab.

We have heard it said that it was the impossibility of two umbrellas of this nature passing each other on a narrow road which led to the invention of covered wagons....