Categories
- Antiques & Collectibles 13
- Architecture 36
- Art 47
- Bibles 22
- Biography & Autobiography 813
- Body, Mind & Spirit 137
- Business & Economics 27
- Computers 4
- Cooking 94
- Crafts & Hobbies 3
- Drama 346
- Education 45
- Family & Relationships 57
- Fiction 11812
- Games 19
- Gardening 17
- Health & Fitness 34
- History 1377
- House & Home 1
- Humor 147
- Juvenile Fiction 1873
- Juvenile Nonfiction 202
- Language Arts & Disciplines 88
- Law 16
- Literary Collections 686
- Literary Criticism 179
- Mathematics 13
- Medical 41
- Music 39
- Nature 179
- Non-Classifiable 1768
- Performing Arts 7
- Periodicals 1453
- Philosophy 63
- Photography 2
- Poetry 896
- Political Science 203
- Psychology 42
- Reference 154
- Religion 498
- Science 126
- Self-Help 79
- Social Science 80
- Sports & Recreation 34
- Study Aids 3
- Technology & Engineering 59
- Transportation 23
- Travel 463
- True Crime 29
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, January 3, 1917
by: Various
Categories:
Description:
Excerpt
MORE DISCIPLINE.
"Yes, Sir," said Sergeant Wally, accepting one of my cigarettes and readjusting his wounded leg,—"yes, Sir, discipline's the thing. It's only when a man moves on the word o' command, without waiting to think, that he becomes a really reliable soldier. I remember, when I was a recruit, how they put us through it. I'd been on the square about a week. I was a fairly smart youngster, and I thought I was jumping to it just like an old soldier, when the drill sergeant called me out of the ranks. Look 'ere,' he said, 'if you think you're going to make a fool o' me, standing about there till you choose to obey the word o' command, you've made a big mistake.' I could 'a' cried at the time, but I've been glad often enough since for what the sergeant said that day. I've found that little bit of gag useful myself many a time."
I was meditating with sympathy upon the many victims of Sergeant Wally's borrowed sarcasm when he spoke again.
"When I first came up to London from the depôt," he said, "I'd a brother, a corporal in the same battalion. You know as well as I do, Sir, that as a matter o' discipline a corporal doesn't have any truck with a private soldier, excepting in the way of duties, and my brother didn't speak to me for the first week. Then one day he called me up and said, 'It ain't the thing for me to be going about with you, but as you're my brother I'll go out with you to-night. Have yourself cleaned by six o'clock.'
"Well, I took all the money I'd got—about twelve bob—and off we went.
"We had a bit o' supper first at a place my brother knew of, and a very good supper it was. My brother ordered it, but I paid. Then we got a couple of cigars—at least, I did. Then we went to a music-hall, me paying, of course. We had a drink during the evening, and when we came out my brother said, 'We'd better come in here and have a snack.'
"'Well, I ain't got any money left,' I sez. My brother looked at me a minute, and then he said, 'I don't know what I've been thinking of, going about with you, you a private and me a corporal. Be off 'ome !' And he stalks away.
"Yes, Sir, discipline's the thing. Thank you, I'll have another cigarette."
Simpler Fashions in India.
"The bride, who was given away by her father, looked happy and handsome in a beautiful red fern dress."—Allahabad Pioneer.
Now with the New-born Year, when people issue
Greetings appropriate to all concerned,
Allow me, WILLIAM, cordially to wish you
Whatever peace of mind you may have earned;
It doesn't sound too fat,
But you will have to be content with that.
For you will get no other, though you ask it;
No peace on diplomatic folios writ,
Like what you chucked in your waste-treaty-basket,
Torn into fragments, bit by little bit;
In these rude times we shrink
From vain expenditure of pulp and ink.
You hoped to start a further scrap of paper
And stretched a flattering paw in soft appeal,
Purring as hard as tiger-cats at play purr
With velvet padding round your claws of steel;
A pretty piece of acting,
But, ere we treat, those claws'll want extracting....