Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, January 10, 1917

Excerpt

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(The Emperor of AUSTRIA and Count TISZA.)

Tisza. So there is the full account, your Majesty, of men killed, wounded and captured.

The Emperor. It is a gloomy list and I hardly can bear to consider it.

Tisza. Yes, and beyond the mere list of casualties by fighting there are other matters to be considered. Food is scarce and of a poor quality, in Hungary as elsewhere. The armies we can yet feed, but the home-staying men and the women and children are a growing difficulty. It becomes more and more impossible to provide them with sufficient nourishment.

The Emperor. It is strange, but in Austria the conditions are said to be even worse.

Tisza. You are right, Sire, they are worse, much worse.

The Emperor. Well, we must lose no time then. We must buy great stocks of food. More money must be spent.

Tisza. More money? But where is it to come from? Not from Hungary, where we are within a narrow margin of financial collapse, and not in Austria, where there is already to all intents and purposes a state of bankruptcy. More money is not to be got, for we have none ourselves and nobody will lend us any.

The Emperor. You paint the situation in dark colours, my friend TISZA.

Tisza. I paint it as it is, Sire, at any rate as I see it. It is not the part of a Royal Counsellor to act otherwise.

The Emperor. Yes, but there might be others who would take a different view, and support their belief with equally good reasons.

Tisza. Not if they know the facts and are faithful to their duty as Ministers of the State. Here and there, no doubt, might be found foolish and ambitious men who would be willing to deceive, first themselves and then their Emperor, as to the true condition of affairs. But, if your Majesty trusted them and allowed them to guide you, you would learn too late how ill they had understood their duty. I myself, though determined to do everything in my power to promote the welfare of Hungary and its King, would willingly stand aside if you think that others would give you greater strength.

The Emperor. I have every reason to trust you most fully. Have you any plan for extricating us from this dreadful morass of failure and difficulty into which we are plunged?

Tisza. Your Majesty, there is only one way. We must have peace, and must have it as soon as possible.

The Emperor. I too think we must have peace, but how shall we obtain it when we have a friend and ally who watches us with the closest care, and would not allow us even to hint at any steps that would really lead to peace?

Tisza. Sire, you are a young man, but you are a scion of a great and ancient House, which was powerful and illustrious when the Hohenzollerns were but mean and petty barbarian princelings. Withdraw yourself, while the opportunity is still with you, from the fatal domination of this vain and inflated upstart who endeavours to serve only his own selfish designs. Our enemies will make peace with you, and thus he too will be forced to abandon the War. With him and with the deeds that have outraged the world they will not initiate any movement that tends to peace....