Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, January 23, 1892

Excerpt

ANOTHER RURAL CONFERENCE.

[A Church Dignitary, writing to The Globe, suggests that the rural reform most urgently needed is a better postal system in the shires.]

Radical Reformer (meeting Rural Labourer tramping to London). Yours is a typical case, my man. You are a victim of our insensate Land Laws, or exploded Feudalism. No doubt you are leaving the country because you could not find employment there?

Rural Labourer. 'Tisn't that so much. Old Gaffer always had summat for a man to do, I can tell ye.

Radical Reformer. Glad to hear it, though it's unusual. Then I suppose it is the intolerable dulness of the country that drives you away from it.

Rural Labourer. 'Tisn't that either. Things be a bit dull in winter-time, cert'nly. But there—we've a Public, also a Free Reading Room, and—

Radical Reformer (disappointed). Glad to hear it, again, I'm sure, though that also is unusual. Your house, now—rather, I ought to call it, your hovel, perhaps—lets in the rain badly—reeks with damp—only one room, and that a pigstye, eh?

Rural Labourer (offended). Come now, don't you call my house a pigstye! Three good rooms, and not a bit o' damp or dirt about it.

Radical Reformer. Then the wages are low, and a tyrannical landlord refuses allotments, eh?

Rural Labourer. Allotments! I could have as many as I wanted for the asking. But there—I didn't want 'em, y'see, and I didn't ask.

Radical Reformer (gravelled). Then would you explain to me what is the real reason of your determination to quit the country for Town?

Rural Labourer (surprised). Why, don't you know? There was only one collection and one delivery of letters daily! I couldn't stand that, of course. I expect I shall find more in Lunnon. Good-day!

LE KHÉDIVE EST MORT! VIVE LE KHÉDIVE!

BORN, JULY 15, 1808. DIED, JAN. 14, 1892.

One more great Voice gone silent! Friends or foes,

None well could watch that long life's gentle close

Without a softening thrill.

A valiant champion of the faith he held,

No conflict ever his strong courage quelled,

Or shook his steadfast will.

Yet, were that all, some well might turn away

With custom's passing courtliness, to-day,

And bid a cold farewell

To the great priest, shrewd marshaller of men,

Subtle of verbal fence with tongue or pen,

Ascetic of the cell.

But there was more; and many a hundred hearts,

Who not in cleric conflict played their parts,

Will mourn him well and long,

Friend of the poor, apart from creed or clique,

And ardent champion of the struggling weak

Against the selfish strong.

Toiler for Temperance, hastener on of Light,

In many a fray where right's at odds with might,

Might's foes will miss their friend.

Farewell! It moves the common heart to hear

The crowning of so glorious a career

By such a gracious end!

THE SANITARY CONGRESS AT VENICE.—Mrs. RAM's Nephew was talking on this subject, when his Aunt was heard murmuring to herself, "I stood in Venice on the Bridge of Sighs;" then she looked up, and repeating the last word, observed, "Well, it never struck me before, often as I've heard that line quoted....