Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, July 4, 1891

Excerpt

URBI ET ORBI.

Mr. PUNCH returns thanks for the anticipatory congratulations on the occasion of his Jubilee, and takes this opportunity of informing his friends—which means Everybody Everywhere—that the 50th anniversary of his natal day is July 18 prox., which day Mr. PUNCH hereby gives full and entire permission to the aforesaid Everyone Everywhere to keep as a whole Holiday, and do in a general way, and to the utmost of their ability, just exactly what best pleases them.

PUNCH.

["Mr. DE LISLE wished the Government to veto any pictures purchased under the Chantrey Bequest that did not meet with their approval."—Daily Paper.]

SCENE—A Studio in the Royal Academy. The President and several Members of the Council waiting arrival of Government to inspect their most recent purchase.

President (with assumed joviality). Well, my dear Colleagues, I do not think exception can be taken to this composition. Simple and effective, is it not?

First Member of Council (gloomily). Oh, you never know! I think we ought to have opposed the admission of the Cabinet—what should they know about Art?

Second Mem. (drily). Enough to make speeches at the annual dinner—to which they wouldn't come if we snubbed them.

First Mem. What of that? I am sure the President is quite eloquent enough to stand alone.

Pres. (with a graceful bow). You are most kind. But, hush! here comes Lord SALISBURY!

Enter the PRIME MINISTER. Cordial greetings.

Premier (briskly). I am sure you will forgive me if I get through this quickly. (Looking at picture.) Hm! Yes, very nice; but did EDWARD the Black Prince wear his Garter ribbon in battle? I am sure I refrain from appearing in mine under similar circumstances. (To Pres.) Do you think the Artist could paint it out?

Pres. I feel sure he will do everything in his power to satisfy your Lordship's artistic instincts.

Premier. Just so.

[Exit R. when enter FIRST LORD of the TREASURY, L.

Pres. (greeting new-comer cordially). Most glad to see you, my dear Right Hon. Sir!

First Lord. Very good indeed of you to say so, but am always anxious to do my duty to my Queen and Country. (Gazing at picture.) Hm! Not bad! But, I say, I do know something of yachting, and that isn't the way to brace up the marling-spike to the fokesell yard with the main jibboom three points in a wind with some East in it! If I may venture a suggestion—hope Artist will paint out the gondola. Ta-ta! A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.    [Exit.

Pres. Well, well, I do not know what our friend will think of the matter, but perhaps the Hansom of Venice is a little superfluous. Why here is the HOME SECRETARY.

[Enter that august personage—mutual greeting.

Home Sec. (examining picture). Yes, very nice. Just my idea of what a historical picture should be! Sea-view very fair indeed, and I think that the suggestion of the presentation at Court is also extremely neat. The Black Prince, perhaps, a little near OLIVER CROMWELL, but then that is a detail that will not challenge particular attention....