Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 8, 1891

Excerpt

"Great Scot!"

[Extorted, by circumstances beyond his control, from a stolid but unsuccessful Saxon Shootist at Bisley and Wimbledon, after the match at the latter place between picked twenties of the London Scottish and the London Rifle Brigade, won easily by the former team.]

Oh! the Scot lot are all cracks at a shot,

And extremely successful at Hunting the Pot.

This particular "Saxon" the hump has got,

Being licked by a team which is Picked and Scot.

["Never," said the CZAR, at the Imperial dinner to which the Officers of the French Fleet were invited, "could I have believed that Republican Sailors, that Republican Soldiers, could have such a bearing."—Times.

"The CZAR has, at the instance of the United States, ordered a temporary relaxation of the measures for the expulsion of the Jews from Russia."—Times.]

"How happy could I be with either?"

Humph! N-n-o-o, I can hardly say that!

Yet here we are, tripping together,

Republics and proud Autocrat!

Two cats and a Boreal Bruin!—

So satire will say, I've no doubt.

And some will declare it must ruin

The Russdom once ruled by the knout.

I wonder—I very much wonder—

What NICK to this sight would have said—

I fear he'd have looked black as thunder,

And savage as RURIC the Red.

For this did we lose the Crimea?

For this did we larrup the Jews?

I really had not an idea

Republics could rule—and amuse.

Miss FRANCE looks extremely coquettish.

How well Miss COLUMBIA can coax!

The Teuton, no doubt, will look pettish,

The Briton will grumble "a hoax."

Aha! I can snub a Lord Mayor,

And give shouting Emperors a hint;

I back La Belle France. Her betrayer

My meaning must see, plain as print.

My reply to the great Guildhall grumble

Had less of politeness than pith,

But—well I've no wish so to humble

My friend Mr. EMORY SMITH,

Or CRAWFORD, the Consul. No thank ye,

Persona gratissima, he;

And therefore I yield to the Yankee

The boon I refused to J.B.

But yet, all the same, it is funny

To see Three like us in One Boat.

COLUMBIA looks dulcet as honey,

Miss F.'s every glance is a gloat.

I never imagined Republics

Could have such a "bearing" as these.

Enjoyingly as a bear cub licks

The comb sweetly filled by the bees,

I list to their flattering-chatter;

Their voices are pleasant—in praise;

But—well, though it seems a small matter,

I don't like that dashed "Marseillaise."

And "Israel in Egypt" sounds pointed

I'd Pharaoh the miscreants—but stay,

My soliloquy's getting disjointed,

I've promised! COLUMBIA looks gay,

La Belle France displays a grande passion;

My arms they unitedly press.

One thing though; the Phrygian fashion

Is not my ideal of dress.

They swear that they both love me dearly,

Their "best of old Autocrat Chaps!"

They are setting their Caps at me, clearly,

But,—well, I don't quite like the Caps!

THE CAPLESS MAID.

["The plaintiff gave evidence that she was engaged as a sort of house and parlour-maid ......