How to tell the Birds from the Flowers and other Wood-cuts A Revised Manual of Flornithology for Beginners

Excerpt

By other Nature books I'm sure,

You've often been misled,

You've tried a wall-flower to secure.

And "picked a hen" instead:

You've wondered what the egg-plants lay,

And why the chestnut's burred,

And if the hop-vine hops away,

It's perfectly absurd.

I hence submit for your inspection,

This very new and choice collection,

Of flowers on Storks, and Phlox of birds,

With some explanatory words.

Not every one is always able

To recognize a vegetable,

For some are guided by tradition,

While others use their intuition,

And even I make no pretense

Of having more than common sense.

Indeed these strange homologies

Are in most flornithologies,

And I have freely drawn upon

The works of Gray and Audubon,

Avoiding though the frequent blunders

Of those who study Nature's wonders.

Burr. Bird.

Who is there who has never heard,

About the Burdock and the Bird?

And yet how very very few,

Discriminate between the two,

While even Mr. Burbank can't,

Transform a Bird into a Plant.

Some are unable, as you know,

To tell the Crocus from the Crow;

The reason why is just be-caws

They are not versed in Nature's laws.

The noisy cawing Crows all come,

Obedient to the Cro'custom,

A large Crow Caw-cus to convoke.

You never hear the Crocus croak!

The Clover. The Plover.

The Plover and the Clover can be told apart with ease,

By paying close attention to the habits of the Bees,

For En-to-molo-gists aver, the Bee can be in Clover,

While Ety-molo-gists concur, there is no B in Plover.

The Gander loves to promenade,

Around the farmer's poultry yard,

While as we see, the Oleander

Is quite unable to meander:

The Gardener tied it up indeed,

Fearing that it might run to seed.

The Hen. The Lichen.

Lichens, regardless of conventions,

Exist in only two dimensions,

A life restricted to a plane,

On rocks and stones a greenish stain,

They live upon the simplest fare,

A drop of dew, a breath of air.

Contrast them with the greedy Hen,

And her most careless regimen,

She shuns the barren stones and rocks,

And thrives upon the garbage box.

The Panicle and Pelican have often been confused,

The letters which spell Pelican, in Panicle are used.

If you recognize this Anagram you'll never go astray,

Or make the careless blunder that was made by Mr. Gray.

The Pea. The Pewee.

To tell the Pewee from the Pea,

Requires great per-spi-ca-city.

Here in the pod we see the Pea,

While perched close by is the Pewee;

The Pea he hears the Pewee peep,

While Pewee sees the wee Pea weep,

There'll be but little time to see,

How Pewee differs from the Pea.

The Parrot and the Carrot one may easily confound,

They're very much alike in looks and similar in sound,

We recognize the Parrot by his clear articulation,

For Carrots are unable to engage in conversation.

The Rue. The Rooster.

When you awake at half-past-two,

And hear a "Cock-a-doodle-doo,"

No argument need then ensue,

It is the Rooster, not the Rue,

Which never thus disturbs our dreams,

With ruthless rude nocturnal screams....