An Alphabet of Celebrities

Excerpt

'S


lbert Edward, well meaning but flighty,Who invited Kingrthur, the blameless and mighty,To meetlcibiades andphrodite.




is forBernhardt, who fails to awakenMuch feeling inBismarck,Barabbas, andBacon.




isColumbus, who tries to explainHow to balance an egg—to the utter disdainOfConfucius,Carlyle,Cleopatra, andCain.

      'S


forDiogenes,Darwin, andDante,Who delight in the dance Of aDarling Bacchante.




is forEdison, making believeHe's invented a clever contrivance forEve,Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve.




is forFranklin, who fearfully shocksThe feelings ofFenelon,Faber, andFox.




isGodiva, whose great bareback featThoughGounod andGoldsmith implore and entreat.




is forHandel, who pours out his soulThrough the bagpipes toHowells andHomer, who rollOn the floor in an ecstasy past all control.




is forIbsen, reciting a playWhileIrving andIngersoll hasten away.




is forJohnson, who only says "Pish!"ToJonah, who tells him his tale of a fish.




is theKaiser, who kindly repeatsSome original verses toKipling andKeats.




isLafontaine, who finds he's unableTo interestLuther andLiszt in his fable,WhileLoie continues to dance on the table.




isMacduff, who's prevailed uponMiltonAndMontaigne andManon to each try a kilt on.




isNapoleon, shrouded in gloom,WithNero,Narcissus, andNordau, to whomHe's explaining the manual of arms with a broom.




is forOliver, casting aspersionOnOmar, that awfully dissolute Persian,Though secretly longing to join the diversion.




is forPeter, who hollers "No! No!"Through the keyhole toPaine,Paderewski, andPoe.




is theQueen, so noble and free—For further particulars look under V.

    'S


Rubenstein, playing that old thing in FToRollo andRembrandt, who wish they were deaf.

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is forSwinburne, who, seeking the true,
    the good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo,Where he chances onSappho and Mr.Sardou,AndSocrates, all with the same end in view.




is forTalleyrand toasting MissTruth,By the side of her well, in a glass of vermouth,And presenting MarkTwain as the friend of his youth.




is forUndine, pursuingUlyssesAndUmberto, who flee her damp, death-dealing kisses.




isVictoria, noble and true—For further particulars look under Q.

    'S


Wagner, who sang and played lots for
Washington,Wesley, and good DoctorWatts.His prurient plots painedWesley andWatts,ButWashington said he "enjoyed them in spots."




isXantippe, who's having her say,His prurient plots painedWesley andWatts,And frightening the army ofXerxes away.




is forYoung, the great Mormon saint,Who thinks littleYumYum andYvette so quaint,He has to be instantly held in restraint....