Excerpt
1. There was an Old Man with a beard,Who said, "It is just as I feared!—Two Owls and a Hen,Four Larks and a Wren,Have all built their nests in my beard!" 2. There was a Young Lady of Ryde,Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;She purchased some clogs,And some small spotty dogs,And frequently walked about Ryde. 3. There was an Old Man with a nose,Who said, "If you choose to suppose,That my nose is too long,You are certainly wrong!"That remarkable Man with a nose. 4. There was an Old Man on a hill,Who seldom, if ever, stood still;He ran up and down,In his Grandmother's gown,Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. 5. There was a Young Lady whose bonnet,Came untied when the birds sate upon it;But she said, "I don't care!All the birds in the airAre welcome to sit on my bonnet!" 6. There was a Young Person of Smyrna,Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;But she seized on the Cat,And said, "Granny, burn that!"You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!" 7. There was an Old Person of Chili,Whose conduct was painful and silly;He sate on the stairs,Eating apples and pears,That imprudent Old Person of Chili. 8. There was an Old Man with a gong,Who bumped at it all the day long;But they called out, "O law!You're a horrid old bore!"So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. 9. There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,Who made a remarkable curtsey;She twirled round and round,Till she sunk underground,Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. 10. There was an Old Man in a tree,Who was horribly bored by a Bee;When they said, "Does it buzz?"He replied, "Yes, it does!"It's a regular brute of a Bee!" 11. There was an Old Man with a flute,A sarpint ran into his boot;But he played day and night,Till the sarpint took flight,And avoided that man with a flute. 12. There was a Young Lady whose chin,Resembled the point of a pin:So she had it made sharp,And purchased a harp,And played several tunes with her chin. 13. There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,Who never had more than a penny;He spent all that money,In onions and honey,That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. 14. There was an Old Person of Ischia,Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;He danced hornpipes and jigs,And ate thousands of figs,That lively Old Person of Ischia. 15. There was an Old Man in a boat,Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"When they said, "No! you ain't!"He was ready to faint,That unhappy Old Man in a boat. 16. There was a Young lady of Portugal,Whose ideas were excessively nautical;She climbed up a tree,To examine the sea,But declared she would never leave Portugal. 17. There was an Old Man of Moldavia,Who had the most curious behaviour;For while he was able,He slept on a table,That funny Old Man of Moldavia 18. There was an Old Man of Madras,Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;But the length of its ears,So promoted his fears,That it killed that Old Man of Madras. ...