Excerpt
Ef you don't know Doc Sifers I'll jes argy, here and now,You've bin a mighty little while about here, anyhow!'Cause Doc he's rid these roads and woods—er swum 'em, now and then—And practised in this neighberhood sence hain't no tellin' when! II In radius o' fifteen mile'd, all p'ints o' compass round,No man er woman, chick er child, er team, on top o' ground,But knows him—yes, and got respects and likin' fer him, too,Fer all his so-to-speak dee-fects o' genius showin' through! III Some claims he's absent-minded; some has said they wuz afeardTo take his powders when he come and dosed 'em out, and 'pearedTo have his mind on somepin' else—like County Ditch, er someNew way o' tannin' mussrat-pelts, er makin' butter come. IV He's cur'ous—they hain't no mistake about it!—but he's gotEnough o' extry brains to make a jury—like as not.They's no describin' Sifers,—fer, when all is said and done,He's jes hisse'f Doc Sifers—ner they hain't no other one! V Doc's allus sociable, polite, and 'greeable, you'll find—Pervidin' ef you strike him right and nothin' on his mind,—Like in some hurry, when they've sent fer Sifers quick, you see,To 'tend some sawmill-accident, er picnic jamboree; VI Er when the lightnin' 's struck some hare-brained harvest-hand; er inSome 'tempt o' suicidin'—where they'd ort to try ag'in!I've knowed Doc haul up from a trot and talk a' hour er twoWhen railly he'd a-ort o' not a-stopped fer "Howdy-do!" VII And then, I've met him 'long the road, a-lopin',—starin' straightAhead,—and yit he never knowed me when I hollered "Yate,Old Saddlebags!" all hearty-like, er "Who you goin' to kill?"And he'd say nothin'—only hike on faster, starin' still! VIII I'd bin insulted, many a time, ef I jes wuzn't shoreDoc didn't mean a thing. And I'm not tetchy any moreSence that-air day, ef he'd a-jes a-stopped to jaw with me,They'd bin a little dorter less in my own fambily! IX Times now, at home, when Sifers' name comes up, I jes let on,You know, 'at I think Doc's to blame, the way he's bin and goneAnd disapp'inted folks—'Ll-jee-mun-nee! you'd ort to thenJes hear my wife light into me—"ongratefulest o' men!" X 'Mongst all the women—mild er rough, splendifferous er plain,Er them with sense, er not enough to come in out the rain,—Jes ever' shape and build and style o' women, fat er slim—They all like Doc, and got a smile and pleasant word fer him! XI Ner hain't no horse I've ever saw but what'll neigh and tryTo sidle up to him, and paw, and sense him, ear-and-eye:Then jes a tetch o' Doc's old pa'm, to pat 'em, er to shoveAlong their nose—and they're as ca'm as any cooin' dove! XII And same with dogs,—take any breed, er strain, er pedigree,Er racial caste 'at can't concede no use fer you er me,—They'll putt all predju-dice aside in Doc's case and go inKahoots with him, as satisfied as he wuz kith-and-kin! XIII And Doc's a wonder, trainin' pets!—He's got a chicken-hawk,In kind o' half-cage, where he sets out in the gyarden-walk,And got that wild bird trained so tame, he'll loose him, and he'll flyClean to the woods!—Doc calls his name—and he'll come, by-and-by!...