WITH THE AUXILIARY PATROL. An Honourable Record. Many years ago, in the reign of good Queen Victoria, a little ship sailed out of Grimsby Docks in all the proud bravery of new paint and snow-white decks, and passed the Newsand bound for the Dogger Bank. They had christened her the King George, and, though her feminine susceptibilities were perhaps a trifle piqued at this affront to her sex, it was a right royal name, and her brand-new boilers... more...

OUR BALLYBUN LOTTERY. [À propos of Premium Bonds it has been recalled that in his evidence, given some years ago before a Select Committee, the then Under-Secretary for Ireland stated that in that distressful country "lotteries are very much used for religious purposes by people of all denominations," and that "it would be flying in the face of public opinion, especially of the great religious bodies, to interfere with them."] Murphy... more...

CHARIVARIA. Sir Robert Lorimer has been appointed architect for the restoration of Whitekirk church, East Lothian, which was burnt down by Suffragettes last February. There is a feeling among the militants that, since it is owing to the exertions of women that the work has to be done, it ought to have been given to a woman architect. Two Suffragettes who were charged, last week, at Bow Street with obstructing the police, refused to give... more...

APRIL 29, 1914. CHARIVARIA. Captain Fort, a French army airman from Chalons, flew over the German frontier, last week, by mistake, and alighted in Lorraine, but flew back again before the German police arrived. We think he should have waited. It is just little discourtesies such as this that accentuate ill-feeling between nations. Mr. H. W. Thornton, the new American manager of the Great Eastern Railway, says that his ideal is to... more...

A Story of Defiance not Defence. There was once a Battalion of Volunteers with its full complement of field, company, and non-commissioned officers, and rank and file. And according to experts the Regiment was a most valuable addition to the national defence. One day a General, covered over with gold lace and wearing a cocked hat, rode up to the Colonel and called him out. "Colonel," said the General, "we are thinking of giving over your... more...

September 23, 1914. THE ALIEN Chorus. "Boo! 'oo kissed 'er 'and to the Kaiser larst time 'e come over? Yar! Bloomin' German!" CHARIVARIA. The Kaiser, we are told, travels with an asbestos hut. We fancy, however, that it is not during his lifetime that the most pressing need for a fire-proof shelter will arise. "The Germans," said one of our experts last week, "are retreating to what looks like a bottle-neck exit." Their fondness... more...

November 11, 1914. CHARIVARIA. "In Buenos Aires and other parts of Argentina," The Express tells us, "people are tired of the war, and a brisk trade is being done in the sale of buttons to be worn by the purchaser, inscribed with the words 'No me habla de la guerra' ('Don't talk to me about the war')." The Kaiser, we understand, has now sent for one of these buttons. The Crown Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria, in an order to his troops... more...

INTRODUCTION. The Old Year was fast nearing its close, the night was clear and starry, and Father Time, from the top of his observatory tower, was taking a last look round. To him entered, unannounced save by the staccato yap of the faithful Tobias, Time's unfailing friend, unerring Mentor, and immortal contemporary, Mr. Punch. "I am not for an age, but for All Time," freely quoted the Swan's sole parallel. "And very much at Time's service,"... more...

Mr. Punch, on the strength—or, rather, length—of a Message from President Pierce, visited her Majesty Queen Mab. He was received by a most courteous Dream-in-Waiting, who introduced him through the Gate of Horn, whence, as Colonel Sibthorp beautifully remarks, "Veris facilis datur exitus Umbris." Dream-World was merrily keeping its Yule-tide, with shadowy Sports and dissolving Pastimes. As Mr. Punch entered, the Game was  ... more...

Prof. John W. Robson, State Botanist of Kansas, sends The Prairie Farmer an extract from his last report, concerning a tame grass for hay and pasturing which is new to that State. The grass has been on trial on an upland farm for two years, during which time he has watched it very closely. The Professor says, "It possesses so many excellent qualities as to place it in the front rank of all cultivated grasses." He enumerates from his notes: 1st.... more...