There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile,He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile:He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,And they all lived together in a little crooked house. Curly locks, curly locks, wilt thou be mine?Thou shalt not wash dishes, nor yet feed the swine;But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam,And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream. My little... more...

THE FURNACE-ROOM. Had Frank lain awake he would have seen a curious sight; for there are few more picturesque scenes than the "forecastle interior" of an ocean steamer at night, lit by the fitful gleam of its swinging lamp. This grim-looking man, fumbling in his breast as if for the ever-ready knife or pistol, must be dreaming of some desperate struggle by his set teeth and hard breathing. That... more...

Never was there a juster observation, than that, in ordinary times, in the same state, genius moves in a circle; originality is lost amidst imitation; we breathe thought not less than vital air. This is more especially the case in all those branches of opinion or philosophy which relate to internal economy, or the social concerns of men. There, it is not merely abstract principle, or disinterested... more...

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS. Yacht "Ibex," Weymouth. DEAR MR. PUNCH, Once again "my foot is on my native heath."—(I don't know where this quotation comes from, but presume the author of it had lost a leg, or he would have placed his feet there—or else he must have had one leg shorter than the other, and so couldn't put both down at once!)—and heartily glad I am to be... more...

Richmond Palace Richmond has comparatively but few antiquarian or poetical visiters, notwithstanding all its associations with the ancient splendour of the English court, and the hallowed names of Pope and Thomson. Maurice sings, To thy sequester'd bow'rs and wooded height, That ever yield my soul renew'd delight, Richmond, I fly! with all thy beauties fir'd, By raptur'd poets... more...

MODERN TYPES. (By Mr. Punch's own Type Writer.) No. XVIII.—THE UNDOMESTIC DAUGHTER. The race of daughters is large, but their characteristics, vocations, and aptitudes, are but little understood by the general public. It is expected of them by their mothers that they should be a comfort, by their fathers that they should be inexpensive and unlike their brothers, and by their brothers that they... more...

GOVERNOR JOHN WINTHROP IN OLD ENGLAND. Our magazine was introduced to the world bearing on the cover of its first number a vignette of the portraiture of the ever honored and revered John Winthrop, first Governor of the Colony of Massachusetts Bay. The effigies expressed a countenance, features, and a tone of character in beautiful harmony with all that we know of the man, all that he was and did.... more...

HOMER, DANTE, AND MICHAEL ANGELO. There is something inexpressibly striking, it may almost be said awful, in the fame of Homer. Three thousand years have elapsed since the bard of Chios began to pour forth his strains; and their reputation, so far from declining, is on the increase. Successive nations are employed in celebrating his works; generation after generation of men are fascinated by his... more...

THE WIFE CATCHERS. A LEGEND OF MY UNCLE’S BOOTS. In Four Chapters. Haberdashers, continued my friend the boot, are wonderful people; they make the greatest show out of the smallest stock—whether of brains or ribbons—of any men in the world. A stranger could not pass through the village of Ballybreesthawn without being attracted by a shop which occupied the corner of the Market-square and the main... more...

MORE THAN SATISFIED! (With Mr. Punch's apologies to the Daily Telegraph's "Academic Enthusiast.") "She-Pantaloons? seedy? Now, do we look like it?" The speaker was a tall, robust maiden with fair hair; on her knee was an edition (without notes) of the Anabasis of Xenophon, and by her side was Liddell and Scott's Lexicon, in which she had just been tracking an... more...