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UNTILED; OR, THE MODERN ASMODEUS.
"Très volontiers," repartit le démon. "Vous aimez les tableaux changeans: je veux vous contenter."Le Diable Boiteux.
XVIII.
"'Mrs. Mæcenas!' So some would-be witDubbed the fair dame. The title may not fitWith accurate completeness;It soars some shades too high, this modish mot,As 'Mrs. Lyon-Hunter' sinks too low;Both nick-names fail in neatness.
"The 'acu tetigisti,' tribute... more...
MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.
Journalistic.
"The Prisoner, who was fashionably attired, and of genteel appearance;" i.e., An ill-got-up swell-mobsman.
"A powerful-looking fellow;" i.e., An awful ruffian.
"A rumour has reached us"—(in the well-nigh impenetrable recesses wherein, as journalists, we habitually conceal ourselves).
"Nothing fresh has transpired;" i.e., The local Reporter's invention is at last exhausted.
"The Prisoner... more...
APRIL 12, 1890.
A SUGGESTION FROM PUMP-HANDLE COURT.
My Dear Mr. Punch,—As the representative of Justice in this country, I appeal to you. And when I write this, you must not imagine that I claim, in my own person, to represent Justice—no, Sir, I only to some extent suggest the Law—a very different matter. But, Sir, as suggesting the Law, I apply to you for redress on behalf of hundreds, nay, thousands, of members of a... more...
IN THE LANE.
Monday.—Carmen exceptionally excellent. Miss Zélie de Lussan, gifted with a light, pleasant voice, sang admirably. Can't have "Trop de Zélie." Mr. Barton McGuckin, as Don Jim-along-José, did all that can be done with this weak-minded soldier. No holes to be picked in Mr. McG.'s performance, though there was a portion of his costume that would have been the better for the attention of Signor Soanso, the... more...
It was the first day under the operation of the new Act. Everyone was a little nervous about the outcome, and John Jones, the Barrister, was no exception to the general rule. At three o'clock he was in the full swing of an impassioned appeal to the Jury.
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Jones," said the Judge, glancing at the clock, "but I am afraid I must interrupt you. I cannot hear you any longer."
"But, my Lord, I have not touched upon a third of... more...
XVI.
"Midnight's meridian is supposed to mark
The bound twixt toil and slumber. Light and dark
Mete out the lives of mortals
In happy alternation," said my guide.
"Six hours must fleet ere Phoebus shall set wide
His glowing orient portals.
"The last loud halloo at the tavern-door
long since has driven the reckless and the poor
From misery's only haven
Forth on the chilling night. 'All out! All out!'
Less sad would fall on... more...
Sweet odours, radiant colours, glittering light!
How swift a change from the dusk sodden night
Of London in mid-winter!
Titania here might revel as at home;
Fair forms are floating soft as Paphian foam,
Bright as an iceberg-splinter.
Dianas doubtless, yet their frost holds fire;
The snowiest bosom covers soft desire,
And these are snowy, verily.
As blanched—and bare—as Himalaya's peaks,
Light-vestured as a troop of... more...
SALUBRITIES ABROAD.
Royat Improved.—I have said Royat ought to be rebuilt. The Grand Hotel is of a sort of Doll's House order of architecture, splendid front, no depth to speak of, and built on so steep an ascent that it is hoisted up at the back like a lady's skirt by a dress-improver. Beau site all the same, and magnificent view.
Last year the Hotel Continental formed part of a group of hotels—which seemed to have been the... more...
OPENING OF THE IMPERIAL INSTITUTE.
Another Show! A splendid Imperial Show! Magnificent weather! Real Queen's weather, and consequently a big success. The grandeur, the solidarity of the British Empire—[&c., &c. *** Editor regrets that for lack of space he is compelled to omit the remainder of this remarkably fine panegyric. He suggests to Author that it would come out well in pamphlet form, price one shilling, or it might be given... more...
No. X.—THE BEHRING-SEA ARBITRATION.
(Scene and Persons as usual. The Conversation has already begun.)
First Well-informed Man (concluding a tirade). —— so what I want to know is this: are we or are we not to submit to the Yankees? It's all very well talking about Chicago Exhibitions and all that, but if they're going to capture our ships and prevent us killing seals, why, the sooner we tell 'em to go to blue blazes the better.... more...