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CHAPTER I YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT A TANGO LESSON The idea originated with Bunch Jefferson. You can always count on Bunch having a few freak ideas in the belfry where he keeps his butterflies. Bunch and his wife, Alice, live out in Westchester County, about half a mile from Uncle Peter's bungalow, where friend wife and I are spending the winter. The fact that Uncle Peter and Aunt Martha had decided to give us a party was the inspiration for... more...

CHAPTER I. JOHN HENRY GETS A PARTNER. "Seven weeks and then the wedding bells will get busy for you, eh,Bunch?" I chuckled. "Surest thing you know," my old pal Jefferson replied, somewhat dolefully. "I must dig up a few old shoes and have a plate of cold rice pudding on the doorstep," I went on. "It's going to afford me a bunch of keen delight to soak you in the midriff with a rusty patent leather and then push a few rice fritters in under... more...

CHAPTER I JOHN HENRY ON UPPER BERTHS I was down on the card to make a quick jump to Pittsburg a few nights ago, and I'm a lemon if I didn't draw an upper berth in the sleeping car thing! Say! I'll be one of a party of six to go before Congress and tell all I know about an upper berth. And I'd like to tell it right now while I'm good and hot around the collar. The upper berth in a sleeping car is the same relation to comfort that a carpet... more...

GET NEXT! JOHN HENRY ON RACE TIPSTERS One day last week I was beating the ballast up Broadway when Pete, the Piker, declared himself in and began to chatter about cinches at the track. "Get the saw, Pete, and cut it," I said; "it's many a long day since I've been a Patsy for the ponies. Once they stung me so hard that for months my bank account looked like a porous plaster, so I took the chloroform treatment and now you and your tips to the... more...

CHAPTER I. JOHN HENRY'S LUCKY DAYS. Seven, come eleven! After promising Clara J. that I would never again light a pipe at the race track, there I stood, one of the busiest puff-puff laddies on the circuit. Well, the truth of the matter is just this: I fell asleep at the switch and somebody put the white lights all over me. Just how I happened to join the Dream Builders' Association I don't know, but for several weeks I was Willie the Wild... more...