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Games/Humor Books
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No. X.—THE BEHRING-SEA ARBITRATION. (Scene and Persons as usual. The Conversation has already begun.) First Well-informed Man (concluding a tirade). —— so what I want to know is this: are we or are we not to submit to the Yankees? It's all very well talking about Chicago Exhibitions and all that, but if they're going to capture our ships and prevent us killing seals, why, the sooner we...
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Various
March 31, 1920. We were glad to see that two of our most important Universities were again successful in obtaining first and second places in this year's boat-race. (As this was written before the race we crave the indulgence of our readers if our prophecy should prove incorrect.) Bradford Corporation is selling white collars to its citizens at sixpence a-piece. How the Labour Party proposes to...
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Owen Seaman
May 12th, 1920. We are pleased to note that the King’s yacht Britannia is about again after being laid up since August, 1914. Smoking and chatting periods have been introduced in some Massachusetts factories. Extremists in this country complain that, while this system may be all right, there is just the danger that working periods might also be introduced. We are pleased to report that the eclipse of...
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Various
"SMALL ADS." "Where do you get servants from?" I asked. "From small ads.," said Phyllis promptly. I picked up the paper from the floor where I had thrown it in the morning. My wife is one of those rare women who always leave things where you put them. It is this trait that endears her to me. I ran my trained eye over an ad. column. "Got it at once," I said with...
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Various
VOCES POPULI. A ROW IN THE PIT; OR, THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT. SCENE—The Pit during Pantomime Time. The Overture is beginning. An Over-heated Matron (to her Husband). Well, they don't give you much room in 'ere, I must say. Still, we done better than I expected, after all that crushing. I thought my ribs was gone once—but it was on'y the umbrella's. You pretty comfortable where you...
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Owen Seaman
March 8th, 1916. Germany is declared to have built a submarine that can go to the United States and back. Future insults therefore will be delivered by hand. Municipal fishshops are to be established in Germany. They will be closely associated, it is understood, with the Overseas News Agency, and will make a speciality of supplying a fish diet to sailors who are unfortunately prevented by circumstances...
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Various
POETRY ON AN IMPROVED PRINCIPLE. Let me earnestly implore you, good Mr. PUNCH, to give publicity to a new invention in the art of poetry, which I desire only to claim the merit of having discovered. I am perfectly willing to permit others to improve upon it, and to bring it to that perfection of which I am delightedly aware, it is susceptible. It is sometimes lamented that the taste for poetry is on...
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Various
HOSPITALITY À LA MODE. ["Programmes and introductions are going out of fashion at balls."—Weekly Paper.] SCENE—Interior of a Drawing-room during a dance. Sprightly Damsel disengaged looking out for a partner. She addresses cheerful-looking Middle-aged Gentleman, who is standing near her. She. I am not quite sure whether I gave you this waltz? He. Nor I. But I hope you did. I am afraid it...
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Owen Seaman
April 28, 1920. General Denikin is now in London. This is the first visit he has paid to this country since his last assassination by the Bolshevists. New proposals regarding telephone charges are expected as soon as the Select Committee has reported. If the system of charging by time in place of piece-work is adopted it will mean ruination to many business-men. The Swiss Government has issued orders...
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Owen Seaman
CHARIVARIA. "His seventy-one years sit lightly on Mr. Gibson Bowles," says the Special Correspondent of The Evening News. No doubt Mr. Bowles has some good reason for permitting this familiarity, for he is not a man to be lightly sat upon. "In particular," says a report on the resources of German East Africa, "the President of the Silk Association has just directed attention to the...
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