SEPTEMBER 2, 1914. CHARIVARIA. Reports still continue to come in as to the outbursts of rage which took place in Germany when the news of our participation in the War reached that country. Seeing that we had merely been asked to allow our friends to be robbed and murdered, our interference is looked upon as peculiarly gratuitous. We hear, by the way, that the Germans, who hold Kiao-chau on a long lease, appealed unsuccessfully to... more...

CHARIVARIA. Sir Robert Lorimer has been appointed architect for the restoration of Whitekirk church, East Lothian, which was burnt down by Suffragettes last February. There is a feeling among the militants that, since it is owing to the exertions of women that the work has to be done, it ought to have been given to a woman architect. Two Suffragettes who were charged, last week, at Bow Street with obstructing the police, refused to give... more...

The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manœuvres this year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manœuvres were, we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the surprise mobilisation five months' previous notice is given. "Every man," says the Bishop of London, "must be his own Columbus and find the continent of truth." This is the first time that we had heard America called... more...

CHARIVARIA. The Cambridge University Boat Club has decided to spend £8,000 in improving the Cam. There is talk of making it into a river. Says a writer in a contemporary, "Don't live in a houseboat during a flood." And yet Noah always declared that he owed his life to having done so. The gentlemen who formed M. Ribot's Cabinet are objecting to being described as "The One-Day Ministry." They were, they assert, in office for some... more...

June 17th, 1914. CHARIVARIA. "The Pocket Asquith" is announced, and we are asked to say that the pocket in question is not Mr. Redmond's. The discovery of gold particles in a duck's gizzard has, we are told, caused a rush of mining prospectors to Liberty Township, Ohio. It is expected that the duck will shortly be floated as a limited liability company. The Valuation Department has discovered at Llangammarch Wells, Brecknockshire,... more...

APRIL 29, 1914. CHARIVARIA. Captain Fort, a French army airman from Chalons, flew over the German frontier, last week, by mistake, and alighted in Lorraine, but flew back again before the German police arrived. We think he should have waited. It is just little discourtesies such as this that accentuate ill-feeling between nations. Mr. H. W. Thornton, the new American manager of the Great Eastern Railway, says that his ideal is to... more...

APRIL 1, 1914. CHARIVARIA. We are sorry to hear that the Premier is suffering from a troublesome Gough. Poor Mr. Asquith, as though he had not already worries enough, is getting into trouble for sending an exclusive statement to The Times. He now stands convicted by his own party of being a Times-server. The Premier Magazine is announced for sale. Is this, we wonder, the Powder Magazine on which he has been sitting? At one... more...

A Story of Defiance not Defence. There was once a Battalion of Volunteers with its full complement of field, company, and non-commissioned officers, and rank and file. And according to experts the Regiment was a most valuable addition to the national defence. One day a General, covered over with gold lace and wearing a cocked hat, rode up to the Colonel and called him out. "Colonel," said the General, "we are thinking of giving over your... more...

"WELL MATCHED." Medico (pathetically, with a view to touching the Dealer's heart). "Now, Mr. Bobbs, what do you think I could get a thoroughly good useful Pair of Horses for, eh? Price not stiff." Mr. Bobbs. "Lor' bless you, Sir, to find Horses—nothin' easier. but, as regards Price—well—you can have 'em at all Prices, just as you can Doctors!" MIXED NOTIONS. No. VII.—PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE. (Scene and Persons... more...

First Well-informed Man. There hasn't been much in this debate on the Addresses. Second W. I. M. Oh. I don't know. They've promised a pretty big list of measures. How they're going to find time for the lot I can't make out. First W. I. M. (contemptuously). Yes, that's always the way with these Governments. They all talk mighty big at the beginning of the Session, and then, at the end, they've done nothing, absolutely nothing; at least, nothing... more...