November 11, 1914. CHARIVARIA. "In Buenos Aires and other parts of Argentina," The Express tells us, "people are tired of the war, and a brisk trade is being done in the sale of buttons to be worn by the purchaser, inscribed with the words 'No me habla de la guerra' ('Don't talk to me about the war')." The Kaiser, we understand, has now sent for one of these buttons. The Crown Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria, in an order to his troops... more...

November 25, 1914. CHARIVARIA. Enver Pasha, in a proclamation to the Turkish troops, says: "The army will destroy all our enemies with the aid of Allah and the assistance of the Prophet." It is rumoured that the Kaiser is a little bit piqued about it. We learn from a German paper that, since the brave Ottomans have discovered that their Culture and that of the Germans are one, many Englishmen who live in Crescents are crying out in... more...

CHARIVARIA. "The King," says The Manchester Courier, "has returned all his German Orders." So much for the taunt that Britain's object in taking part in the War was to pick up German orders. We hear that, in addition to lowering the lights at night, the authorities intend, in order to confuse the enemy, to alter the names of some of our thoroughfares, and a start is to be made with Park Lane, which is to be changed to Petticoat Lane.... more...

October 7, 1914. CHARIVARIA. General Villa has now declared war on President Carranza. Everybody's doing it. Is there, we wonder, a single unfair weapon which the Germans have not used? It is now said that not infrequently a German band is made to play when the enemy's infantry advances to attack. A regrettable mistake is reported from South London. A thoroughly patriotic man was sat upon by a Cockney crowd for declaring that the... more...

September 23, 1914. THE ALIEN Chorus. "Boo! 'oo kissed 'er 'and to the Kaiser larst time 'e come over? Yar! Bloomin' German!" CHARIVARIA. The Kaiser, we are told, travels with an asbestos hut. We fancy, however, that it is not during his lifetime that the most pressing need for a fire-proof shelter will arise. "The Germans," said one of our experts last week, "are retreating to what looks like a bottle-neck exit." Their fondness... more...

SOME NOTES AT STARMOUTH. 3 p.m.—Arrive at Starmouth—the retired Watering-place at which I propose to write the Nautical Drama that is to render me famous and wealthy. Leave luggage at Station, and go in search of lodgings. Hotel out of the question—table d'hôte quite fatal to inspiration. On the Esplanade, noting likely places with critical eye. Perhaps I am a little fastidious. What I should really like is a little... more...

First Shy Man   (to break the spell).   Odd, our running up against one another like this, eh? Second Shy Man. Oh, very odd.   (Looks about him irresolutely, and wonders if it would be decent to pass on. Decides it will hardly do.)   Great place for meeting, the Academy, though. First S. M. Yes; sure to come across somebody, sooner or later.   [Laughs nervously, and wishes the other would go.... more...

A FLAT TO LET. It was twelve o'clock (noon) and I was sitting over the fire in our squalid lodgings reading the attractive advertisements of country mansions in a weekly journal. I had just decided on a delightful Tudor manor-house with every modern convenience, a nice little park and excellent fishing and shooting, when Betty burst upon me like a whirlwind. Her face was flushed and a fierce light shone in her usually mild blue eyes. She looked... more...

PROGRESS. ["Giving evidence recently before a Select Committee of the House of Commons, Miss C. E. Collet, of the Home Office, said the commercial laundry was killing the small hand laundry."—Evening News.] The little crafts! How soon they die! In cottage doors no shuttle clicks; The hand-loom has been ousted by A large concern with lots more sticks. The throb of pistons beats around; Great chimneys rise on Thames's banks; The... more...

June 10, 1914. CHARIVARIA. Mr. Redmond is said to have vigorously opposed the suggestion that British troops should be sent to Durazzo on the ground that the present is not a time when our home defences should be weakened. The presence of some ladies on the Holyhead links disturbed Mr. Lloyd George to such an extent, one day last week, that he foozled a shot, and it is reported that the Government is at last contemplating serious... more...