Periodicals Books

CLOTHES AND THE POET. ["The public will welcome an announcement that the standard clothing scheme may be revived on a voluntary basis."—The Times.] I do not ask for silk attire, For purple, no, nor puce; The only wear that I require Is something plain and loose, A quiet set of reach-me-downs for serviceable use. For these, which I must have because The honour of the Press Compels me, by... more...

MEN AND THINGS OF THE MOMENT. [Mr. Punch cannot hold himself responsible for the views expressed in the following correspondence.] The Mallaby-Deeley Emporium. Dear Mr. Punch,—I want you to use your influence with that great philanthropist, Mr. Mallaby-Deeley. I know that he is too modest to claim to be a benefactor of the race, but I am at least right in calling him "Mr.," for that is how he... more...

A STORY WITH A POINT. (With Mr. Punch's apologies for not having sent it on to "The Spectator.") Geoffrey has an Irish terrier that he swears by. I don't mean by this that he invokes it when he becomes portentous, but he is always annoying me with tales, usually untruthful, of the wonderful things this dog has done. Now I have a pointer, Leopold, who really is a marvellous animal, and... more...

HIS FUTURE. Part I.—The Proposal, 1920. "About this boy of ours, my dear," said Gerald. "Well, what about it?" said Margaret. "He weighed fourteen pounds and an eighth this morning, and he's only four months and ten days old, you know." "Is he? I mean, does he? Splendid. But what I was going to say was this: in view of the present social and economic disturbances and... more...

APRIL 7, 1920. "Do the British people," asks Mr. Blatchford, "understand the nature of the monster modern military science has created?" We hope to hear later what name Mr. Winston Churchill has found for Mr. Blatchford. Agitation for a Federal Divorce Law is being revived in the United States. It appears that there are still some backward States where the expenses of a divorce suit... more...

May 10, 1916. Many graphic tales have been told of the immense loads of plunder carried off during the fighting in Dublin; but there has been looting on a large scale elsewhere, if one may believe the headline of a contemporary:—"Man arrested with Colt in his pocket at Bloomsbury." Says a writer in The Daily Chronicle: "In one neighbourhood within the Zeppelin zone there are hundreds of... more...

THE DOMESTIC PROBLEM. "Well, I've been to see three of them now," she said. "The first is at Shepherd's Bush—" "What pipes!" I ejaculated. "What music! What wild ecstasy!" "—four hundred yards from the Central Tube, to be exact; and there's a large roller skating-rink next door. You never rolled, did you? Three sessions daily, the advertisement... more...

May 3, 1916. Sir Roger Casement, it appears, landed in Ireland from a collapsible boat. And by a strange coincidence his arrival synchronised with the outbreak of a collapsible rebellion. Hard soap can now be obtained in Germany only by those who purchase bread tickets. The soft variety cannot be obtained at all, the whole supply, it seems, having been commandeered by the Imperial Government for export... more...

OUR BALLYBUN LOTTERY. [À propos of Premium Bonds it has been recalled that in his evidence, given some years ago before a Select Committee, the then Under-Secretary for Ireland stated that in that distressful country "lotteries are very much used for religious purposes by people of all denominations," and that "it would be flying in the face of public opinion, especially of the great... more...

March 31, 1920. We were glad to see that two of our most important Universities were again successful in obtaining first and second places in this year's boat-race. (As this was written before the race we crave the indulgence of our readers if our prophecy should prove incorrect.) Bradford Corporation is selling white collars to its citizens at sixpence a-piece. How the Labour Party proposes to... more...