Games/Humor Books

CHAPTER I. I held it in my right hand, toying with it curiously, and not without pleasure. It was merely a long, wooden pen-holder, inky and inert to an unappreciative eye, but to me it was a bright magician, skilled in the painting of glowing pictures, a traveller in many climes, a tried and trusted friend, who had led me safely through many strange adventures and much uncouth dialect. "Old... more...

DOING THE OLD MASTERS. (A Sketch at Burlington House.) IN GALLERY NO. I. The Usual Elderly Lady (who judges every picture solely by its subject). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman. By GAINSBOROUGH." I don't like that at all. Such a disagreeable expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things. I'm sure there's no pleasure in looking at them! Her Companion... more...

'ARRY ON WHEELS.Our 'Arry Laureate.DEAR CHARLIE,—Spring's on us at last, and a proper old April we've 'ad, Though the cold snap as copped us at Easter made 'oliday makers feel mad. Rum cove that old Clerk o' the Weather; seems somehow to take a delight In mucking Bank 'Oliday biz; seems as though it was out of sheer spite. When we're fast with our nose to... more...

A CONSISTENT LEAGUE. Immediately upon McFarland's acquittal, the Union League of Philadelphia determined to give a grand ball. And they did it. And, what is more, they intend to do it every time the majesty of any kind of Union is vindicated. Except, of course, the union of the "Iron interest" and the public good. One of the most valuable and instructive features of this ball was, the... more...

A NATIONAL SKY-SCRAPER. I have been often asked why the Government, foreseeing the inevitable increase of Departments, had not the elementary imagination to build a colossal sky-scraper to accommodate them all. The objections to such an act of apparently obvious intelligence may be briefly enumerated. (1) With such a landmark whoever had business to conduct with a Government Department would know where... more...

RANDOM FLIGHTS. By Marcus Macleod. (With renewed acknowledgments to "The Skittish Weekly.") It was with inexpressible relief that I heard of the narrow escape of the Rev. Urijah Basham. Presiding at a jumble sale at Sidcup he described how he had been within an ace of partaking of rhubarb leaves at luncheon on the previous day, but, having read in the morning's paper of their fatal... more...

July 29th, 1914. A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Signor Ulvi, the inventor of “F” rays. He is said to have eloped from Florence with an Admiral’s daughter. This was not discovered until Signor Ulvi had got well away, and his claim to be able to cause explosions at a distance would now seem to be established. General Huerta is said to have taken with him on his flight securities to the... more...

CHARIVARIA. Sir Robert Lorimer has been appointed architect for the restoration of Whitekirk church, East Lothian, which was burnt down by Suffragettes last February. There is a feeling among the militants that, since it is owing to the exertions of women that the work has to be done, it ought to have been given to a woman architect. Two Suffragettes who were charged, last week, at Bow Street with... more...

First Well-informed Man. There hasn't been much in this debate on the Addresses. Second W. I. M. Oh. I don't know. They've promised a pretty big list of measures. How they're going to find time for the lot I can't make out. First W. I. M. (contemptuously). Yes, that's always the way with these Governments. They all talk mighty big at the beginning of the Session, and then,... more...

September 23, 1914. THE ALIEN Chorus. "Boo! 'oo kissed 'er 'and to the Kaiser larst time 'e come over? Yar! Bloomin' German!" The Kaiser, we are told, travels with an asbestos hut. We fancy, however, that it is not during his lifetime that the most pressing need for a fire-proof shelter will arise. "The Germans," said one of our experts last week, "are... more...