General Books

THE ROYSTERING BLADES Out in the Celery Belt of the Hinterland there is a stunted Flag-Station. Number Six, carrying one Day Coach and a Combination Baggage and Stock Car, would pause long enough to unload a Bucket of Oysters and take on a Crate of Eggs. In this Settlement the Leading Citizens still wear Gum Arctics with large Buckles, and Parched Corn is served at Social Functions. Two highly... more...

My Old Yaller Almanac Hangin' on theKitchen Wall I'M sort of fond of readin' onething and another, So I've read promiscus likewhatever cum my way, And many a friendly argument's cum up 'tweenme and mother, 'Bout things that I'd be readin' settin' rounda rainy day. Sometimes it jist seemed to me thar wa'ntno end of books, Some made fer useful... more...

"Shoot away, Bill! never mind the old woman—she can't get over the wall to us." One day two urchins gotA pistol, powder, horn, and shot,And proudly forth they wentOn sport intent."Oh, Tom! if we should shoot a hare,"Cried one,The elder son,"How father, sure, would stare!""Look there! what's that?""Why, as I live, a cat,"Cried Bill, "'tis... more...

A RIPPLE OF DISSENSION AND WHAT CAME OF IT. I was about to be married. My numerous charms and attractions had won the affections of a young man who was equally charming with myself. We were sitting on a luxurious divan and he held my milk-white hand in his. I do not make that statement as a startling announcement of an unusual occurrence, but simply as a matter of fact. We had been conversing about the... more...

The Periodical Souse, the Never-Again Feeling and the Ride On the Sprinkling Cart Once there was an Indian who had a Way of putting on all his Feathers and breaking out of the Reservation. For three Weeks at a Stretch he gave a Correct Imitation of the Shining Light who passes the Basket and superintends the Repairs on the Parsonage. He was entitled to a Mark of 100 for Deportment. With his Meals he... more...

CHAPTER I.—The Curse (Registered). WHEN this story of my life, or of such parts of it as are not deemed wholly unfit for publication, is read (and, no doubt, a public which devoured 'Scrawled Black' will stand almost anything), it will be found that I have sometimes acted without prim cautiousness—that I have, in fact, wallowed in crime. Stillicide and Mayhem I (rare old crimes!) are... more...

I While travelling through the classic realms of Greece some years ago, sincerely desirous of discovering the lurking-place of a certain war which the newspapers of my own country were describing with some vividness, I chanced upon the base of the far-famed Mount Olympus. Night was coming on apace and I was tired, having been led during the day upon a wild-goose chase by my guide, who had assured me... more...

Eating in Two or Three Languages On my way home from overseas I spent many happy hours mapping out a campaign. To myself I said: "The day I land is going to be a great day for some of the waiters and a hard day on some of the cooks. Persons who happen to be near by when I am wrestling with my first ear of green corn will think I am playing on a mouth organ. My behaviour in regard to hothouse... more...

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT It might be better if Jerry Benham wrote his own memoir, for no matter how veracious, this history must be more or less colored by the point of view of one irrevocably committed to an ideal, a point of view which Jerry at least would insist was warped by scholarship and stodgy by habit. But Jerry, of course, would not write it and couldn't if he would, for no man, unless... more...

SCENE I. "Walked twenty miles over night: up before peep o' day again got a capital place; fell fast asleep; tide rose up to my knees; my hat was changed, my pockets picked, and a fish ran away with my hook; dreamt of being on a Polar expedition and having my toes frozen." O! IZAAK WALTON!—Izaak Walton!—you have truly got me into a precious line, and I certainly deserve the rod for... more...