Excerpt
THE MORNING AFTER THE PARTY. MARY (angrily). Tommy, you deceiver!You've turned a regular thiever:I've let the light in on your deeds,You needn't sneak away.You thought it mighty pleasantTo devour that dainty pheasant;Which cook and I for breakfast meantTo have this very day. TOM (calmly). Miss Mary, I assure youYou're entirely mistaken:I was finishing my supper—Don't call me thief or brute,But please be so obligingAs to broil a slice of baconAs my reward for self-control:I haven't touched the fruit. MARY (sneeringly). For that there is good reason,You thing of craft and treason;You did not touch the grapes, becauseThe grapes you do not like.You get no slice of baconFrom me, since you have takenThe bird I'd set my heart upon.Away, or I will strike! TOM (derisively). Be patient, Mistress Mary,Of broomsticks I am wary:The door is open, and I seeWhat you would now be at. MARY (angrily). Away! obey my order,You sneaking, base marauder!I'll teach you to steal birds again!Be off! Take that, and—Scat! [Exit Tommy at double-quick time, followed by Mary, who strikes with thebroom, but does not hit.] Alfred Selwyn. THE STARLINGS AND THE SPARROWS.
"Look here, my dear," said a starling to her mate: "in our pretty summer-villa a pair of saucy sparrows have taken up their abode. What shall we do?"
"What shall we do?" cried Mr. Starling, who was calmly standing on a fence; "why, rout them out, of course; give them notice to quit."
"That we will do," replied Mrs. Starling. "Here, you beggars, you: out of that house! You've no business there. Be off!"
"What's all that?" piped Mrs. Sparrow, looking out of her little round doorway. "Go away, you impudent tramp! Don't come near our house."
"It is not your house!" said Mr. Starling, springing nimbly to a bough, and confronting Mrs. Sparrow.
"It is ours!" cried Mr. Sparrow, looking down from the roof of the house. "I have the title-deeds. Stand up for your rights, my love!"
"Yes, stand up for your rights. I'll back you," said Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law, taking position on a branch just at the foot of the house.
"We'll see about that, you thieves!" cried Mrs. Starling, in a rage, making a dash at Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law.
But two of Mrs. Sparrow's cousins came to the rescue just then, and attacked Mrs. Starling in the rear.
Thereupon Mr. Starling flew at Mrs. Sparrow. Mr. Sparrow, without more delay, went at Mr. Starling. Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law paid his respects to Mrs. Starling. There was a lively fight.
It ended in the defeat of the sparrows. The starlings were too big for them. The sparrows retreated in good order, and left the starlings to enjoy their triumph.
"Now, my dear," said Mr. Starling, "go in, and put the house in order. I'll warrant those vulgar sparrows have made a nice mess in there. Sweep the floors, dust the furniture, and get the beds made. I'll stay here in the garden, and rest myself."
"Just like that husband of mine!" muttered Mrs. Starling: "I must do all the work, while he has all the fun....