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SEE, chil-dren, the Fur-bear-ing Seal;Ob-serve his mis-di-rect-ed zeal:He dines with most ab-ste-mi-ous careOn Fish, Ice Water and Fresh AirA-void-ing cond-i-ments or spice,For fear his fur should not be niceAnd fine and smooth and soft and meetFor Broad-way or for Re-gent StreetAnd yet some-how I of-ten feel(Though for the kind Fur-bear-ing SealI har-bor a Re-spect Pro-found)   The Giraffe.   SEE the Gi-raffe; he is so tallThere is... more...

CHAPTER I THE CREATION Six busy days it took in allTo make a World and plan its fall,The seventh, SOMEONE said ’twas goodAnd rested, should you think he could?Knowing what the result would beThere would have been no rest for me!Claire Beecher Kummer. It takes much longer to write a Geography than, according to Moses, it took to create the World which it is the Geographer’s business to describe; and since the Critic has been added... more...

The Rubáiyát of aPersian Kitten Wake! for the Golden Cat has put to flightThe Mouse of Darkness with his Paw of Light:Which means, in Plain and simple every-dayUnoriental Speech—The Dawn is bright.   They say the Early Bird the Worm shall taste.Then rise, O Kitten! Wherefore, sleeping, wasteThe Fruits of Virtue? Quick! the Early BirdWill soon be on the Flutter—O make haste!   The... more...

A is for Adams So A is for Adams, Oh! fortunate ALuck certainly seems to be coming your way. In the Days of my Infancy, A I recallStood for Ant or for Apple or anything small. Now A stands for Adams, Maude Adams, Hurray!I always said A would be Famous some day.   B stands for the Boys B’s for the Boys, all as Busy as BeesThey are building a Little House under the TreesWith funny red walls and mossy green... more...

Medusa How did Medusa do her hair?The question fills me with despair.It must have caused her sore distressThat head of curling snakes to dress.Whenever after endless toilShe coaxed it finally to coil,The music of a Passing BandWould cause each separate hair to standOn end and sway and writhe and spit,—She couldn't "do a thing with it."And, being woman and awareOf such disaster to her hair,What could she do but petrifyAll whom she met,... more...


Winter and Summer In Winter when the air is chill,And winds are blowing loud and shrill,All snug and warm I sit and purr,Wrapped in my overcoat of fur. In Summer quite the other way,I find it very hot all day,But Human People do not care,For they have nice thin clothes to wear. And does it not seem hard to you,When all the world is like a stew,And I am much too warm to purr,I have to wear my Winter Fur?   Rain The rain is... more...

A Serious Question   A kitten went a-walkingOne morning in July,And idly fell a-talkingWith a great big butterfly. The kitten’s tone was airy,The butterfly would scoff;When there came along a fairyWho whisked his wings right off. And then—for it is writtenFairies can do such things—Upon the startled kittenShe stuck the yellow wings.   The kitten felt a quiver,She rose into the air,Then flew down to the riverTo... more...

THE LIBERTY OF FRANZAND THEREBELLION OF FUZZY WUZZY Madame Morelli, the pretty little Frenchwoman who makes a half-score of leopards, panthers and jaguars do things which nature never intended them to do, had finished her act and driven the snarling performers through the narrow runway to their separate cages, fastening each one, as she thought, securely. Two French clowns were filling in the time and making the audience of Coney Island pleasure... more...

William Dean Howells Not squirrels in the park aloneHis love and winter-kindness own.When Literary Fledglings tryTheir wings, in first attempt to fly,They flutter down to Franklin Square,Where Howells in his "Easy Chair"Like good Saint Francis scatters crumbsOf Hope, to each small bird that comes.And since Bread, cast upon the main,Must to the giver come again,I tender now, long overtime,This humble Crumb of grateful rhyme. (See )... more...

'SAlbert Edward, well meaning but flighty, Who invited King Arthur, the blameless and mighty, To meet Alcibiades and Aphrodite.       is for Bernhardt, who fails to awaken Much feeling in Bismarck, Barabbas, and Bacon.       is Columbus, who tries to explain How to balance an egg—to the utter disdain Of Confucius, Carlyle, Cleopatra, and Cain.  ... more...